Somewhere Only We Know
by workstudywrite
Summary: Meredith and Derek met while she was merely a medical student working at a hospital and he was a second-year resident. This story will take you through the happiness and challenges they experience as they attempt to figure out what it means to be together.
1. Sparkly-Eye Guy

**Disclaimer: I do not own characters from Grey's Anatomy.**

 **Author's Note:  
** **Hello friends! I'm throwing this story your way because I'm starting to enjoy it a crazy amount and I hope it'll bring you some smiles too!  
You've probably gotten the gist from the description, but this story follows a series of events with the idea that Meredith and Derek met while she was merely a medical student working at a hospital and he was a second-year resident. The age gap between the two is different than that of the show, I realize that, but I'm excited to explore some new adventures with this new version of our favorite couple!  
**

 **Side Note: I would suggest coming into the story with an open mind, there is little to no correlation with the plotline of Grey's.**

 **Read.  
Hopefully, enjoy.  
Review if you'd like.**

* * *

 _Six more hours to go and then you're free. You've got this, just power through and hopefully, she'll stop torturing you soon._  
 _Is this normal? Being tossed between an overbearing attending and the one in your specialty?_  
 _Either way, it's getting old.  
You're a resident, though, so buck up, man._

"What the hell are you doing here?" Ellis snapped at a young blonde in the lobby of the hospital.

 _Shit. Maybe stop for a second?  
No, don't stop at the top of a staircase, you idiot._

"I work here," the blonde bit back, "I'm volunteering to pad my resume and the Chief offered me a job as an orderly."

The resident stepped down from the last stair, glancing around himself awkwardly as he took a couple steps closer, holding a file behind his back.

Ellis' stare was cold and hard, "Well you go tell Chief Webber that you do **not** accept the position, right now."

"Mom, I'm not going to do that," the girl told her simply.

 _Mom? Ellis Grey has a daughter?_

"Meredith, dammit," Ellis said sharply, crossing her arms over her chest, "You can't just come in here and…"

"And what, Mother? Work? Get a job?" she asked rhetorically, rolling her eyes, "Oh wait… I **know;** you don't want people to know that I exist. Is that it?" she asked with a fake smile.

"Meredith…"

"No, no, no, it's fine," she chuckled dryly, "I get it," she nodded, "If you had a daughter people might think that the stone-cold Ellis Grey had feelings, but don't worry," she laughed again, "I will make it very clear that you're as emotionless as they come," she snapped.

"Meredith Grey do not talk to me like that," Ellis chided, "I am your mother…"

Meredith sighed wearily and turned, "I have to go to work," she muttered.

Ellis' arm snapped in front of her as she grabbed Meredith by the elbow, "Did you not hear a word of what I just said? You are **not** working in this hospital."

 _Ok, stop eavesdropping. You have to go up to her, she's your attending, you're her resident. She requested Jane Doe's blood work and made it clear you were to get them to her before she walked out the door. Get your ass over there._

"Excuse me, Dr. Grey," the young resident called out, jogging up to her, "The.. uh blood work you requested," he said, holding out the file.

"You're a Dr., learn how to form complete sentences," she told him sternly, releasing Meredith's arm and grabbing the file, "Thank you," she said dryly before sending one last glare to Meredith and walking toward the door.

"Don't take that personally," the blonde told him, "she's a bitch to everyone."

The doctor sighed and raised his eyebrows, "Duly noted," he snorted a laugh as they made eye contact.

 _Wow, her eyes are… so green._

The girl cleared her throat and a light blush moved up her face, "Well… uh, I'm gonna be late for my shift," she said with a smile, "Good luck, Dr..."

"Shepherd," he told her quickly, "Derek Shepherd," he said with a smile.

The girl nodded and returned his smile, "Meredith," she offered, sticking out her hand.

Derek reached out and shook, "I know… I heard," he winced, shrugging his shoulders, "Sorry, I didn't mean to…"

Meredith giggled as she released his hand, "Don't worry about it, I'd be surprised if you were the only one who heard that conversation."

Chuckling along with her, Derek nodded and tilted his head, "It was nice to meet you, Meredith," he smiled.

"Nice to meet you too, Derek," she smiled, nodding softly.

 _His eyes; they're sparkling. I didn't know eyes could sparkle like that and the hair, oh my god._

Derek's pager blared, "Duty calls," he announced, "Seeya," he smiled before turning and heading up the stairs with a jog.

"Seeya," Meredith smirked at his fast-moving figure, biting her lip as she walked toward the stairs on the opposite side of the lobby.

 _Get that smirk off of your face. Your ass is late._

* * *

The blonde nearly ran toward the Chief's office, passing by his secretary, and merely knocking on the door frame as she barged in.

"Meredith," Richard said happily as she hurried into his office, "I was beginning to think you weren't showing."

"I know, I'm sorry," she breathed, giving him an apologetic look as she walked closer to his desk, "My mother caught me in the lobby and she isn't very happy about…"

"The job, I know," Richard sighed, "Look, if this is going to be too difficult for you, I can make some calls and secure a position for you at another hospital," he offered from his desk.

"No," she said quickly, "No, I am very grateful for this opportunity, the hospital's close to campus, I'm familiar with the people, and with how things run. I am more than ready to ignore my mother, Sir."

 _And there's a really attractive resident on your staff that I wouldn't mind seeing every day._

"Alright then, I'm happy to hear it," Richard said with a grin, slapping his hands and rubbing them together as he stood, "Now I paged a resident to show you around… I know you've been here more times than you can count, but he's the best resident in his year and there is a lot he can show you," he told her honestly.

Meredith nodded, "I'm happy to learn," she smiled.

"Shep! There you are," Richard greeted, his eyes darting toward the door.

 _Shep? As in Shepherd? As in attractive doctor with the sparkling blue eyes?_

"Sorry Chief, I was…" he began, walking further into the office, "Meredith," he smiled as he caught sight of the blonde.

"You two know each other?" Richard asked.

"No," Meredith stated quickly, "We just met a few minutes ago, he was delivering some labs to my mother when she and I…" she trailed off awkwardly.

"Right," Richard nodded knowingly, "I'll let you get to it, if you need anything, page me or give me a call, Meredith has my number," he said, moving to sit back down.

"Will do," Meredith nodded.

"Let's get started," Derek smiled, leading her out the door.

"Meredith?" Richard called.

"Yes?" she said, stopping in her tracks and turning toward him.

He smiled brightly, "Forget about your mother, I'm happy you're here."

"Thank you, Richard… umm. Chief," she nodded, cringing at the misstep.

Richard just chuckled, "You'll get used to that, shut the door on your way out, please."

"So…" Derek began slowly as she shut the door behind herself, "Your mother is Ellis Grey **and** you're on a first name basis with the Chief?" he asked, raising his eyebrows as they walked down the hall side by side, "What's the story behind that?"

"There's no story," Meredith said with a short giggle.

Derek gave her an unconvinced look, "I find that hard to believe," he chuckled.

She shook her head, "I don't have a story," she said sternly, "I'm just a girl in a hospital."

"Hey!" Derek said, tilting his head toward her and smiling widely, "I'm just a guy in a hospital."

 _What is this? Is he flirting with me? No, he's not, you idiot. He's just making conversation.  
But is it a flirty conversation? Do I flirt back?  
_ _He's a co-worker. Do_ _ **not**_ _flirt back, I repeat, do not flirt back._

"Just a random guy in blue scrubs?" she asked him, raising her eyebrows.

 _What did I just say?! Meredith Grey knock it off. This is inappropriate. Amy would be appalled. Ok, that's a lie. Amy would root for you, but_ _ **that's**_ _the problem._

He chuckled, "Well, I do have a medical license," he admitted with a smirk as they approached the nurse's station, "Meredith, this is Debbie," he said, pointing toward the older woman with glasses and short brown hair, "and this is Clare," he said, pointing toward a much younger woman with freckles and long red hair, "Debbie, Clare, this is Meredith Gr…"

She kneed him from behind and his leg buckled, "Nice to meet you," Meredith said with a smile as he shot her an annoyed look.

Derek eyed her with confusion evident on his face before he glanced back at Debbie and Clare, "Right, well, you'll be working closely with them," he told her, his face becoming neutral again, "They'll give you assignments throughout the day, I don't know if the Chief will give you a pager. Sometimes he does, other times he just asks that you check in with them every so often or when you're in need of a new assignment."

Meredith nodded as she listened and then glanced back at the ladies, "I look forward to working with you," she smiled sweetly as they responded.

"Let's keep going," Derek said, smiling at the nurses as they walked away, "What the hell was that?" he asked sharply.

"I'm sorry," she sighed, "but I…"

"Look, I like you, you seem like a good kid," Derek told her, "but you can't do that.."

"They can't know," Meredith spoke over him abruptly, "No one can know that I'm Ellis Grey's daughter. **You're** not supposed to know," she said coldly.

Derek sighed and rolled his eyes, "Ok so you want to make her proud and you don't want people to give you special treatment, I get it."

"No, you don't get it," Meredith snapped, "You think Ellis Grey is a bitch, I know you do because she's a bitch to everyone and she was terrible to you today. She's always a bitch and she treats me **just** like she treats her residents," she argued, sighing and softening her voice, "I don't want people to know she's my mother because **she** doesn't want them to know, that way, when I screw this up, it doesn't make her look bad."

 _Well shit, Shep, you got that one wrong and now the cute girl's sad._

"I'm sorry, I didn't know," he said sadly, swallowing thickly.

Meredith crossed her arms lightly and sighed, "You weren't supposed to. Can we get on with this thing?"

Derek nodded and smiled, "Of course," he said, turning to continue walking down the hallway.

"I'm gonna say one more thing and then I'll start being nice again because you're technically my boss," Meredith told him suddenly as they turned a corner.

"What?" Derek asked with a laugh.

"You call me a kid again and I will end you," she told him harshly, narrowing her eyes in his direction, "and you know who my mother is so that's entirely possible."

The smile died off of Derek's face in an instant, "Right, won't happen again," he said quickly.

 _Feisty. I don't know if I like it or hate it.  
Oh shut it, you love it._

* * *

"Meredith," Amy groaned, banging her head against the bathroom door, "Hurry up."

"Geez," Meredith huffed, throwing the door open and nearly causing her roommate to topple in head first, "Would you chill out?"

"You've been in there for an hour. I have to pee," she told her, shoving her aside and slamming the door in her face.

Meredith rolled her eyes and walked to her room to toss her towel in the laundry basket and grab her phone.

 _Great. 3 missed calls from Mom_ _ **and**_ _a voicemail? It's only been a day since I started. Sparkly-Eye Guy better not have told anyone._

She sighed, hitting play on the voicemail and holding her phone to her cheek as she walked into the small kitchen, grabbed a blue mug from the cupboard, and poured a cup of dark, steamy coffee.

"What's with the face?" Amy asked as she emerged from the bathroom.

Meredith rolled her eyes, "My mother," she stated simply, taking a seat at one of the barstools.

Amy winced, "Twice in one week? That has got to be a record," she said, moving to grab a cup of coffee.

"I knew this was going to happen," Meredith groaned, tossing her phone onto the counter, "I start working at the hospital and she loses her shit."

"Then why the hell did you choose the **one** hospital in New York she **does** work at?" Amy asked her seriously, popping two slices of bread into the toaster.

"It's close to school, it's a great hospital, and I have connections," Meredith argued.

"But your mother is there," Amy retorted, scrunching her nose, "That's enough to make someone want to move to Antarctica."

"Maybe Richard was right," Meredith groaned placing her elbows on the counter and holding her head in her hands, "It'll be too hard, for both of us, I should just have him call another hospital."

"You can't do that now!" the brunette exclaimed, buttering the toast, "You've already had a standoff with her. Now is your time to prove yourself. Meredith Grey, don't back down. Pull up your big girl panties and show her you **deserve** the Grey name. You are gonna go to that hospital and you are gonna be the best damn orderly they've ever had," she nearly shouted, tossing a piece of toast at her and throwing her coat on.

Meredith laughed and shook her head, "Thanks," she said, taking a bite of the toast.

"Plus," she shrugged, pulling on her backpack, "If you leave the hospital, you leave cute Sparkly-Eye Guy," she smirked, snatching her coffee off the counter.

"I am not staying for Sparkly-Eye Guy," Meredith told her with a stern look.

"Whatever," Amy snorted, walking toward the door, "I'm late for class. Kick ass, Grey."

"You too," she sighed, glaring at her phone and taking an angry bite of toast.

 _Kick ass? I wish I could kick my mother's ass. That would make me feel better._

* * *

"Hey Shep, wanna grab lunch?" a muscular blonde called, swinging into the resident's lounge.

"Can you wait five minutes?" Derek asked, "I have to finish this," he reported, his head still buried in papers as he sat at a roundtable.

"Make it two and you've got a deal," the man told him, pulling a chair out and flipping it around, sitting on it backward and resting his arms over the top, "So that Peds nurse I was talking to you about? Totally into me."

Derek looked at him over his work and rolled his eyes, "Mark this is **not** going to make me work faster."

"I swear, man," he continued, a smirk playing on his face, "She's hot too. Remember Tracy Gaulding from med school?"

"With the glasses and the acne?" Derek asked, his face contorting as he continued scribbling.

Mark's face twisted in confusion, "No, must've been someone else then. The point is," he digressed, "She told me about this bar nearby and she wants me to meet her there Friday tonight."

"Good for you," Derek murmured, "You enjoy acne nurse."

"Come on, Derek," Mark groaned, "I need a wingman, be my wingman."

Derek looked up as someone else walked into the room, "Ah! Addie," he called before gesturing to Mark, "Go with Mark to a bar Friday night and be his wingman," he said before packing up his papers.

"Can't you learn how to get yourself laid?" she groaned, pilfering through her locker.

"Hey, I have no problem getting laid," Mark argued.

Derek snorted a chuckle, "Whatever you say," he shook his head.

"You know what?" Addison said, turning around to look at them with her hands on her hips, "I'll do it, I'll go, I need to get laid too."

"There you go," Derek nodded, gesturing toward her as he stood, "Wingwoman."

Mark glared at Addison and then turned back to Derek, "What's so important that you have to leave your best friend hanging?"

"Dinner," Derek sighed, "At my mother's. Want lunch or are we gonna sit here and talk about your flavor of the day for an hour?"

"And I wasn't invited?" Mark asked, standing and flipping his chair back around before following Derek toward the door.

"Hey!" Addison snapped, "Am I your wingwoman or what?" she asked, her hands shooting up.

"Friday night, lobby, 8 o'clock," Mark said gruffly.

"Yes," she whispered, spinning around toward her locker again.

"If you want an invitation, call Mom," Derek told him as they walked up to the nurse's station.

Mark scoffed, "If I call Mom all I'll get is a lecture about why I don't call her more often."

"Then you should call her," Derek laughed, handing the charts over to Debbie, "These are for Dr. Richardson," he told her.

"Thank you, Dr. Shepherd," Debbie smiled.

"Call her for me," Mark said as Derek smiled at the nurse, "She loves her Golden Boy," he smirked.

Derek shook his head and followed Mark toward the cafeteria, "I am not calling her for you. You want an invitation, you make the call."

"Lucky for me, I'll be at a bar that night anyway," Mark said with an arrogant smile and a pep in his step, "Addie better have brushed up on her wingwoman skills."

"She's been your wingwoman before," Derek said.

Mark raised his eyebrows and nodded, "I know, that's why she needs to brush up, I almost didn't get laid at all last time."

"You poor man," Derek mocked him, placing a hand on his shoulder.

Mark shrugged him off, "Shut-up Golden Boy."

* * *

After her mid-morning class, Meredith found herself at a small table, flush against a window in a quaint new coffee shop just off campus. She had textbooks and notebooks, pens and highlighters of all colors, scattered over the top as she attempted to study for an exam she had in a few days.

 _Just a couple weeks until Thanksgiving break. Soon you'll be able to log hours at the hospital, you'll have the apartment to yourself when Amy visits her family, you'll spend Thanksgiving…_

"Hey, Mer," Amy said, sitting across from her with a huff, "God, it is freezing out there," she groaned, "I understand that it's mid-November in New York, but seriously? I'm done with the cold."

"It's gonna be a long winter for you," Meredith chuckled, shoving her things to her side of the table.

Amy rolled her eyes, "It's always a long winter for me," she complained, " **and** I have to go to my Mom's for dinner on Friday night."

"Since when?" Meredith asked, scrunching her nose at the thought of a mother.

"Since three hours ago," she sighed, pulling out flashcards, "apparently my brother finally has a night off and he's coming so it won't completely suck," she admitted with a shrug.

Meredith looked over at her, confusion flooding her face, "You have a brother? We've been friends for two years, how did I not know you have a brother?" she asked.

"He's a resident, he's not around a ton," Amy said simply, flipping through her cards, "You know about all of my sisters though because they're almost clinically insane and I have a million ridiculous stories about them."

"I know, I like the crazy sister stories," Meredith said with a devious grin, "I can't believe I didn't know you…"

 _Shepherd. Amelia Shepherd. Dr. Shepherd. Derek. Derek Shepherd. Dr. Derek Shepherd. Sparkly-Eye Guy. No, he's not, he can't be. When I mentioned him to her I mentioned his name, didn't I? I would have. Must be a different Shepherd family. The world isn't_ _ **that**_ _small._

"You should come," Amy offered, scribbling a note down in her notebook, "Mom loves you and you'll get free food out of it."

"And I can meet your secret brother," Meredith responded with a glare.

Amy laughed, "Oh come on, Mer."

"I'm your best friend," Meredith argued with a short laugh, "You're supposed to tell me stuff like that! What else don't I know?" she asked suspiciously.

"Chai Latte for Amelia," a barista shouted out from across the room.

"Be right back," she winked, dodging the question as she hurried out of her chair.

 _Not the same family. Totally not. Except, the hair and the smile and maybe even the eyes and… dammit._

"Sorry, I didn't know she was free that night," Amy said into her cell as she came back with her latte and took a seat, "Ok, I'll tell her. Thanks, Mom. Yup, love you, bye."

"What'd she say?" Meredith asked.

"That she would be happy to see you again and I need to make sure you know that you're 'welcome in our home anytime, Dear'," Amy said, mocking her mother before taking a sip.

Meredith laughed, "Your mom is so…"

"Anti-Ellis?"

"Yes," Meredith sighed.

 _It must be nice; having a mother who cares and cooks and invites friends into your home._

* * *

 **I hope you enjoyed the first chapter of this new story, let me know what you think or how you're feeling about it!  
** **Have a great Thanksgiving!**

 **{P.S. - for those of you following More Heart, Less Attack; I'm almost done with the next chapter. I hope to have it up by tomorrow, stay tuned!}**


	2. Shepherd?

**Disclaimer: I do not own characters from Grey's Anatomy**

 **Read.  
Hopefully, enjoy.  
Review if you'd like.**

* * *

"Are you nervous?" Amy snorted as they pulled up into her mother's driveway.

Meredith shook her head and plastered a smile on her face, "No? Why would I be nervous?"

Amy shot her a look, "Because this is a family and you don't do families."

"But I like your family," Meredith argued, "I've been here before, I'm fine."

"You're always fine," Amy rolled her eyes.

"I am," Meredith nodded, "So let's go," she said, hopping out of her car.

She followed behind Amy as she made her way up the walkway, steps, and to the door, walking right inside, "We're here!" Amy called out.

"In the kitchen," her mom's voice rang through the house.

 _Pictures. They have tons of pictures. Look at them, is he in them?_

Meredith scanned the walls as she followed behind Amy, so far all of the pictures were of little kids and offered no definite answers.

"Oh, Amelia," her mother said, giving her a tight squeeze and a kiss on the cheek, "I missed you," she told her.

"I saw you a month ago," Amy laughed but hugged her back. She put on a brave, bitchy face most days, but in reality, she was a hugger.

"Meredith," her mother said softly, "It's so good to see you again," she told her, pulling her into a hug.

Meredith stiffened for a moment before melting into the woman's embrace, "Hi Carolyn," she said quietly.

"Now I told Amy," Carolyn said, pulling back, but holding onto Meredith's shoulders, "to make sure you know that you're always welcome here, but that girl goes a mile a minute so I'm telling you myself, ok?"

"Ok," Meredith said, smiling as she nodded softly.

"Good," the woman said with a sharp nod, "Amy, take your coats and put them in the closet, your brother will be here soon and then we'll eat," she said, turning around and moving toward the sink.

"It smells amazing in here," Meredith said, shrugging off her coat and handing it to Amy, walking further into the kitchen and taking a seat on a barstool next to the counter.

"Thank you, Dear," Carolyn smiled softly, turning toward her, "Would you like some wine or a beer?"

"Wine would be great, thank you," Meredith breathed.

 _Something, anything to take the edge off would be great. No pictures of the family in the kitchen. Dammit, I could have sworn there were at least a hundred in this house last time._

"Der-Bear!" she heard Amy screech from down the hall followed by a grunt and a deep chuckle that gave her goosebumps.

Carolyn set a glass of wine down in front of her and another next to her for Amy, "Thanks," Meredith whispered, taking a sip as she smiled in response and turned back to the fridge.

"Hey Ma," a deep voice called from the doorway they'd entered through.

 _Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit._

"Derek," Carolyn said softly, moving to give him a hug, "Hello."

"Hey," he chuckled, before opening his eyes. The chuckle died and the smile nearly fell from his lips in surprise as he made eye contact with Meredith over her shoulder.

 _Meredith Grey. Amy's friend is Meredith Grey. The orderly from work. Ellis Grey's daughter is Amy's friend. My baby sister's friend. The cute girl is Amy's friend._

Meredith gulped, taking another long sip of her wine and smiling tentatively as Amy walked back into the room, "Derek, this is my friend Meredith. She and I live together near campus," she reported, moving onto the stool next to her.

 _Derek. Shepherd. Dr. Derek Shepherd. Sparkly-Eye Guy is Amy's brother. Her older brother. Derek. Der-Bear. Dr. Shepherd. Shit._

"Hey," Meredith said, "Nice to… meet you," she offered.

 _You're just going to ignore it. Pretend this is the first time you've seen this man. You don't know each other. This is too weird. Maybe he'll take the hint._

"Nice to meet you too, Meredith," he said with a smirk as he pulled away from his mother.

 _Oh, I see how it is. We can play this game. Pretend not to know each other. Maybe that's a good idea. She is Amy's friend and that's a little odd._

"Here you go," Carolyn said, putting a beer in his hand.

Derek chuckled, "That was fast," he joked, shrugging off his coat and setting his beer down to go hand it up.

 _What a small world._

"Meredith, how's medical school treating you?" Carolyn asked, grabbing plates out of the cupboard.

"Oh it's going well," Meredith smiled.

"We'll be in all of the same classes next semester," Amy offered, taking a sip of her wine, "Thank God for separate clinicals or we'd be together literally all day."

"Literally," Meredith mocked her with a laugh as Derek walked back into the room and cracked open his beer, "We spend too much time together already."

 _Her laugh, it's light and airy. It's pretty. Is that a thing? A pretty laugh?_

"We live together, does that bug you all of a sudden?" Amy snorted a laugh.

"All of a sudden? Really?" Meredith asked, tilting her head toward her, "Living with you has always bugged me, you leave your crap everywhere," she rolled her eyes.

"You love it," Amy smirked, taking a sip of wine.

"I don't think anyone loves living with you, Amy," Derek chuckled, leaning against the counter.

 _Ugh, the leaning thing has_ _ **got**_ _to stop._

"Shut-up, you haven't lived with me for years," Amy said, giving him a dirty look, "You're not a piece of cake to live with either. You snore like a freaking truck driver and every time you try to cook you almost burn the place down."

"I do not snore!" Meredith said, offended.

"Bitch, do not look at me like that, I've lived with you for two years, I know," she said seriously.

"Amy, language," Carolyn told her sternly.

"Yes, language, Amelia," Derek chuckled, moving further into the kitchen and glancing at the pots on the stove.

"Fine, I snore a little bit, but that's all I'm giving you right now," Meredith said with a smirk.

"Get out of there," Carolyn said, swatting Derek's hand away.

"Ow, it's good," he said with food in his mouth but turned around with a laugh as she smacked him again, making eye contact with Meredith and winking.

* * *

Since the dinner at the Shepherd's Meredith had been attempting to avoid Derek like the plague. Considering her limited hours at the hospital, she'd been pretty successful so far.

"Meredith, did you check on Mr. Jones in room 324?" Debbie asked as she walked past the nurse's station.

Meredith nodded, "I did, he said he doesn't have any news yet, but that we'll hear him cheering when he does," she reported, with a wince.

Debbie just laughed, "Ok, thank you," she said, making her way down the hallway and toward another patient's room.

She walked the opposite direction, heading toward the lab to pick up a report. Just as she passed a supply closet, an arm shot out and pulled her in, "Hey!" she shouted, smacking the arm away, "What the hell?" she asked, whipping around to find two blue eyes staring back at her.

"You're Amy's friend," Derek said, his hands on his hips.

Meredith rolled her eyes, "And apparently you're Amy's brother."

"Yeah, I know that," he said, amused, "You didn't think to tell me that you lived with my sister?"

"I didn't know I lived with your sister," Meredith shot back, "and if I had…"

"If you had, what?" Derek asked her, an arrogant smirk on his face.

"Nothing," Meredith shook her head and sighed, "You're Amy's brother and I'm Amy's best friend which means the flirting has to stop," she said sternly.

"It does, does it?" he smiled, tilting his head, his eyes doing that stupid sparkly thing again.

"Yes," she nodded sharply, "It does."

"See," Derek sucked in a breath, "I don't think I want it to stop."

"What?" she squeaked.

"I **like** flirting with you," he told her, then chuckled as he looked her up and down, "You're cute when you get nervous," he told her.

"You… I," she stammered, "You're my boss, my mom's your boss, you work for my mother, your sister's my best friend. I **live** with her and,"

"And?" he asked, raising his eyebrows as he moved closer, taking his hands off his hips. Derek stared into her eyes. His eyes traveled to her lips as he moved his face toward hers.

Meredith gulped as his scent surrounded her, "And…" she said, her voice swaying as she glanced down at his lips and tilted her head slightly, leaning closer until hers touched his.

"Mmhh," Derek moaned, kissing her harder and swooping his arms under hers, holding her flush to his chest and sandwiching her against the wall as she threaded her fingers through his hair and looped her legs around his waist.

She brought her hands to his face and continued kissing him roughly before pushing his face away, "Crap," she groaned, leaning her head back against the wall.

"Crap?" he breathed, offense lining his voice, "We make out and the first thing you say is crap?" he asked her in disbelief.

Meredith groaned, "Why is Amy your sister?" she asked him, meeting his eyes again, her hands still on his face.

Derek grunted, glaring at her a little as his pager went off. He reached down, under her leg and grabbed it off his waist, pulling it up to his face as Meredith let her hands drop to his shoulders. She hopped back on her feet, "It's your mother," he said with a sigh, shoving his pager back into his waistband.

 _My mother. He has to go work with my mother now._

"Oh my god," Meredith said slowly, "My mother's your boss."

"Yeah, you know that," Derek said, shooting her a confused look as he adjusted the collar of his lab coat.

 _What is her problem?_

"This can't happen again."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously."

"Meredith," he said with a soft sigh.

 _Ok, so the circumstances could be better. I don't think Amy will be too happy when she knows..._

"Remember what I told you?" she snapped, "She's waiting for me to fail and screwing one of her residents is the perfect way for me to do that. This," she said, pointing between the two of them, "Can't happen," she told him sternly.

"I'm not her resident," Derek groaned, rubbed a hand over his face and looked at her pensively, "I have to answer this page. We'll talk about this later," he said, attempting to move past her and out the door.

"No," she said sternly, pushing a hand against his chest, "We are not talking about this again. This is not happening."

 _It can't happen. This is not happening._

"Meredith," he raised his eyebrows, "I'll talk to you later," he promised, pushing past her lightly as his pager went off again.

Meredith fell back against the wall again with a groan and closed her eyes. Try as she might, she could **not** get the feeling of his lips against hers out of her head.

 _Meredith Grey, you are ridiculous. You weren't even supposed to_ _ **flirt**_ _with him._

* * *

"Dr. Shepherd," Ellis nodded coldly, failing to look up from her chart as Derek approached.

 _She didn't even look at me. How does she know?  
_ _Control your face. Do not look like you just made out with her daughter._

"Hello, Dr. Grey," Derek nodded, standing near her with his hands in the pockets of his lab coat.

Ellis looked over at him after a moment and looked him up and down.

 _She knows. How does she know? Why does she know? Lipstick? No, Meredith doesn't wear lipstick, at least she hasn't over the course of the week._

"Take this chart, prep the patient, I want you to scrub in," she said simply handing it out to him.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Dr. Grey, I'm on Richardson's service. I'm going into neuro, not general," Derek told her, keeping his hands in his pockets.

"Yes, I know," she said sharply, "but you're too talented to waste away on his service. This case requires only the best and you're the best, Shepherd. Take the chart," she barked.

Derek nodded quickly, taking the chart from her hands.

"Don't make me regret this," she snapped, her heels clicking as she walked away.

 _How is Meredith Grey her daughter? There must have been some kind of mix up the day she was born because there is no way Ellis Grey is her mother._

Releasing a sigh, Derek flipped open the chart and began reading it, hoping to memorize most of it before turning up at the patient's door. He couldn't help but think of what would happen when Richardson found out.

 _Should I go to the Chief? No, no one likes a whiny surgeon and_ _ **no one**_ _challenges the authority of Dr. Grey._

Then there was Meredith, he knew that if he ever wanted to have a chance at going out with her, pissing off her mother was not the right place to start. He wanted to go out with her. He didn't want whatever 'this' was to stop before anything had actually started. However, in the back of his mind, there was a nagging voice that continuously reminded him that she was Amy's best friend.

 _This shouldn't be a big deal. We're all adults here, Amy can handle this.  
_ _Yeah,_ _ **but**_ _she has always been very possessive._

* * *

 _You made out with Derek Shepherd. You made out with Amy's brother and you lied about knowing him. Your mother is his boss. This can't happen again, but dammit, it felt_ _ **so**_ _good._

Meredith sighed and chuckled dryly as she walked up to the coffee cart, "Large black coffee, please," she ordered.

"Make that two," a voice came from behind.

"Chief Webber," Meredith said in surprise, turning toward him.

Richard smiled, handing money to the cashier, "How's your day going, Meredith?"

 _I sucked face with your favorite resident._

"Good… great," she said nervously, thanking the barista for her coffee, "Thank you, you didn't have to do that," she told him as they walked away from the cart.

"Oh it's nothing," he said, taking a sip of his, "How are things going for you? Are you having any issues with Ellis?" he asked her.

Meredith shook her head, "I haven't talked to her much," she said truthfully, "I've seen her; she usually turns around, goes down a different hallway, takes the stairs, or ignores me altogether, but it could be worse," she shrugged.

"I'm sorry," he sighed, "I can talk to her if you'd like."

"No," Meredith smiled, "it's ok, it's nothing I'm not already used to and I don't want to make things… any more difficult for you two."

"Look, Meredith, I'm sorry I…"

She shook her head and scrunched her nose, "Could we not… do this here?"

"Right," he nodded with a sad smile, "Do you have Thanksgiving plans? I know what your mother's plans are and Adele and I would love to have you with us this year."

"I don't," she admitted, sipping on her coffee again, "I'll think about it," she told him with a smile, turning toward him for a moment with a soft sigh, "I want to," she assured him, "I do miss you and Adele a lot, but…"

Richard nodded with a smile and reached out to rub her arm, "I know you do, we miss you too," he said before clearing his throat, "Well, I'll look forward to hearing from you," Richard told her, "I'll let you get back to it, have a nice day, Meredith."

"Thanks, you too," she smiled as he walked away.

 _You need to go. You haven't seen Adele in ages. If Ellis finds out, she finds out. You're an adult, dammit, you can make your own decisions. You are going to have Thanksgiving dinner with your… Richard and Adele. You're having dinner with Richard and Adele._

"Watch out," a voice called, grabbing her arm and pulling her aside before she got run over by a kid in a wheelchair.

"Crap," she stuttered, "Thank you, I'm so sorry," she said, looking over at the woman.

The redhead chuckled, "Don't worry about it, those kids are like monsters on those things," she said, "Do you work here? I don't know if I've seen you around before."

"I do," Meredith offered, "I'm a medical student, I volunteered for a while, but I'm working here as an orderly a few hours a week now. Meredith," she said, holding out her hand.

"It's nice to meet you," she said with a smile, "I'm Addison Montgomery, second-year resident."

Meredith smiled and nodded, "Specialty?" she asked.

"I'm leaning toward obstetrics and gynecology," she told her, "Originally, I was thinking general but then I had the **privilege** of working with Dr. Grey and I knew it was OB all the way," she released a breathy laugh.

"Dr. Grey is a piece of work," Meredith nodded with a laugh.

Addison looked surprised, "You know her?"

"I do," Meredith nodded, raising her eyebrows as she took a sip of her coffee, "better than I'd care to admit."

"I think there are a lot of people who'd agree with you on that," she laughed.

Meredith smiled, "Oh I'm sure," she said knowingly, "Well, I should get going, I have a meeting in a few. It was nice to meet you Dr. Montgomery."

"Likewise, Meredith," Addison said, "I'll see you around," she smiled.

"Definitely," Meredith agreed, turning around and walking away.

* * *

"This type of behavior is unacceptable and will not be tolerated," Richard said sternly, "We cannot put residents in positions such as the one Dr. Shepherd was in today. There needs to be communication between attendings."

"I simply offered Dr. Shepherd a procedure to scrub in on and he accepted," Ellis stated.

"Without consulting me first," Dr. Richardson interjected, "Dr. Shepherd is specializing in neuro and has been on my service since his decision. However, Dr. Grey forced his hand."

"I'm sorry," Derek spoke up, "I knew I was on Richardson's service and I followed Grey's instructions instead and I apologize."

"Shepherd, no one is blaming you for anything," Richard told him, giving him a pointed look before glancing at the attendings angrily, "Dr. Shepherd and Dr. Richardson, you're dismissed, I'll speak with you individually at some point, but for now I would like to have a conversation with Dr. Grey," he said, his voice tight.

Derek nodded, "Yes sir," he said quietly before getting up and moving toward the door.

"Richard, I…" Richardson attempted to argue.

"I will talk to you later," the Chief told him, watching as the men left and closed the door behind themselves, "What the hell was that?" Richard asked, turning his attention toward Ellis, "You threatened a resident to get him on a surgery? That is **not** how we do things at this hospital, Ellis."

"Oh cut the crap, Richard," Ellis snorted, "You know just as well as I do that Shepherd is too bright to be stuck on neuro."

"That is not your decision to make," Richard snapped, "He is a talented surgeon, but he does not want general. Dr. Shepherd thrives in neuro, he was born to work with the human brain, I believe that" he told her sternly, "and you cannot keep him from his specialty out of spite."

"I am not…"

"You are," he snapped, "In the same way you're refusing to recognize Meredith as your daughter within the walls of this hospital," he said angrily, "because you don't want to be overshadowed. You want the attention and it's driving you crazy that Richardson is working with a resident that is blowing his colleagues out of the water. And Meredith?" he sighed heavily, "Ellis we all know that you're afraid Meredith will make you look bad and ruin your reputation because you don't think she has what it takes, but she does…"

"She does not," Ellis snapped, "She's a baby, she doesn't know anything," she snorted, avoiding eye contact.

"She's learning," he told her honestly, "but she's working her ass off in school and at the hospital. She is at the top of her class, Ellis. Meredith is smart. She has a future in medicine."

"You have no idea what you're talking about!" Ellis yelled, "She's my daughter, Richard, not yours."

"Ellis I have loved her and cared for her since the moment I met her," he said, matching her tone, "Who was it that you left her with for almost two years so you could travel the world and save lives? It was **me**. Adele and I gave that girl everything while you were gone. We gave her love, we gave her a home, and we gave her a family. Then you pop up again and rip all of that away from her? From us?" he roared, "You took her from her home and moved her to Boston for **years** before you came back with her, Ellis."

"Richard, I am her mother," Ellis shouted, standing up from her chair, " **I** am her mother. I am her family, not you," she snapped, bolting out of his office and slamming the door, making the windows quiver.

Richard sighed and leaned his elbows against his desk, holding his head in his hands.

 _She deserves more, so much more._

* * *

Meredith walked onto the elevator, making her way toward the Chief's office to discuss his dinner invitation. When the doors opened, she came face to face with Derek in an elevator car void of anyone else.

"Hey," he smiled softly.

 _He looks tired, worn down, Ellis-Greyed._

"Hey," she whispered, "You ok?"

Derek chuckled, "Your mom stole me today," he told her as the elevator doors closed.

"She stole you?" Meredith asked, turning to face him.

He nodded and raised his eyebrows, "Oh yeah, that page I got from her? She gave me a surgery and I was too scared to say no. We all ended up in the Chief's office," he sighed with a chuckle, "I'm headed back there now to talk to him."

"Why are you laughing, that's terrible," Meredith told him.

Derek snorted, "I'm laughing because there are two Grey women in this hospital; one that I want and one that wants me, but they're different Greys."

"That's not funny," she told him, closing her eyes for a moment before glaring at him, "and it's not… completely true," she rolled her eyes.

"Oh really?" he asked, raising his eyebrows and smirking at her, "Would you like to prove that to me?

"I am not going out with you."

"Did I ask you to go out with me?" he scoffed, giving her a look before it melted into a smile, "Do you wanna go out with me?

"Dr. Shepherd," Meredith said warningly.

"Future Dr. Grey," he mocked her, narrowing his eyes with a smirk, moving a bit closer.

"Derek," she groaned.

"Meredith, give me a chance."

"Your sister…"

"Is your best friend."

"My mother…"

"Is my boss."

"You are so…" she began to growl.

"Attractive," he offered with a wink, "handsome?"

"Annoying!" she snapped.

"That's not what you were saying earlier."

" **That** was a lapse in judgment," she told him seriously, looking him in the eye.

 _Dammit, why did you do that? His eyes make you all melty and his hair, god, his hair._

"Hmmm," Derek hummed, unconvinced as he came closer gradually and brought his lips to hers; she didn't pull away.

Meredith dropped her bag to the floor with a thunk and brought her hands to his waist as she moved closer, their lips still interlocked.

 _What are you doing? No. Bad Meredith. Stop._

The elevator dinged and Meredith pulled away, quickly grabbing her bag off of the floor and bolting, leaving Derek behind as he walked out slowly, a smirk on his face.

"Stop stalking me," Meredith called behind her with a glare.

Derek scoffed and jogged to catch up, "I'm not stalking you, I told you, I'm going to the Chief's office. Where are you going?"

"The Chief's office," Meredith rolled her eyes with a groan.

"Ha," Derek said happily, "So **you're** stalking me, I see…"

"No you don't," Meredith snapped, "For all intents and purposes, you're blind as a bat," she told him angrily.

"If I were blind I wouldn't be able to see how cute your face is when you're angry," he breathed into her ear with a laugh.

Meredith just glared as they reached Richard's office. She stopped abruptly and turned, shoving Derek away with a hand on his chest, "I'm going first, you stay here."

"You're so bossy," he said, shaking his head as he leaned back against the wall and crossed his arms, "Well go on, some of us have jobs to do eventually," he said sassily, shoving her toward the door with a hand on her shoulder and chuckling as she threw him another dirty look.

 _God, I want to be with that girl._

* * *

 **There are a few ticking time bombs, unanswered questions, mixed feelings, and self-control issues going on here, but I hope you'll stick along for the ride :)**

 **Thank you so much for your feedback on the first chapter, I'm glad to hear there are some people out there who are interested in this story!  
**


	3. Just Another One-Night Stand

**Disclaimer: I do not own any characters from Grey's Anatomy.**

 **Read.  
Hopefully, enjoy.  
Review if you'd like.**

* * *

"But why the hell wouldn't he just **tell** her he's the email guy?" Amy asked, highly enraged as they lounged on their couch under a blanket, eating pizza, drinking beer, and watching a movie.

"I mean what's he gonna say, 'Hey I know I'm the asshole who's putting you out of business but also I'm the dude who's been trying to help you overthrow me' that's a weird conversation to have," Meredith argued.

Amy rolled her eyes and took another bite of pizza, "Yeah, but now he's just gonna look like a double asshole later and he ruined her **entire** night. Now she thinks she got stood up **and** she had to face the dicky Fox guy," she argued.

Meredith scrunched her nose and she swallowed a swig of beer, "It's a lose, lose situation," she said with a sigh.

 _Just like you and Derek. You go out with him and you risk pissing Amy and your mother off. You don't go out with him and you make him sulky and hot and you lose your chance at maybe really having a relationship. Oh, shut up already. You're Meredith Grey, almost literal child of darkness, you do not do relationships._

"Will you **stop** sighing over there already?" Amy groaned, chucking a piece of popcorn at her, "What the hell is your problem?"

"Hey," Meredith glared, chucking a few pieces back, "I'm fine, watch the movie about the stupid boy."

Amy sat up quickly and grabbed for the remote, hitting pause and looking at Meredith with wide eyes, "This is about a boy, isn't it? Is this about Sparkly-Eye Guy?"

"No, it's not," Meredith denied, shoving a handful of popcorn in her mouth.

"You are such a bad liar," she laughed, movie closer to her and smacking her with a pillow, jumping on the couch next to her, "Tell me,' she begged, shaking Meredith's shoulder.

Meredith groaned and closed her eyes, "it's about Sparkly-Eye Guy," she conceded, looking at Amy.

"And? Tell me!"

Meredith rolled her eyes, "He's funny and cocky and frustrating as hell," she scoffed with a smile on her face, "but he's also really kind and gentle and he... " she trailed off with a sigh.

 _He's your brother._

Amy gasped, "You're falling for him," she accused, resting her chin on Meredith's arm, "You poor girl," she murmured.

"I am not falling for him," Meredith said, almost too harshly, "I… we made out in a supply closet once and… we kissed in an elevator and he wants to go out with me but… I don't know, he works for my mom," she groaned.

 _And he's your brother._

"So?" Amy scoffed, "Fuck Ellis Grey, remember? Who cares what she thinks, she's not your mommy at the hospital. She won't even associate with you… bitch."

"Amy," Meredith sighed, turning her head and looking her in the eye, "I… he… we… I love you. You're my best friend and I would never do anything to hurt you and…"

A look of confusion and worry crossed Amy's face, "Meredith what is it?"

 _Just do it. You have to do it. She has to know.  
_ _Unless you never date him, then she doesn't have to know and you'll have told her for no reason._

"Nothing," she said, forcing a smile on her face and shaking her head.

 _You can't tell her._

"It's just..." Meredith trailed off.

Amelia looked at Meredith sadly, "You poor girl," she groaned, hugging her close, "You don't know how to be in a relationship."

Meredith rolled her eyes, "I get drunk and have one-night stands," she argued, "My mother is about as nurturing as a steak knife..."

"I'm not saying you **have** to be good at it," Amelia giggled, "but you should probably work on it if you want to be with Sparkly-Eye Guy," she told her pointedly.

"Are you gonna give me homework now?" she asked with a groan, "I already have a shit-ton of homework that I don't want to do."

"I'm not going to give you homework," she laughed, before smiling at Meredith deviously, "But... maybe Kyle can come over and we can..."

"Eww, no!" Meredith shouted, shoving Amelia off of her, "It's bad enough I have to listen to you screwing every damn day, I am **not** going to sit in a room and take relationship advice from a couple who uses sex to solve **literally** everything."

"Oh come on," Amy groaned, falling against the back of the couch dramatically, "It's fun and it works for us," she said with a contented shrug.

Meredith scoffed, "Whatever."

Amelia smacked her shoulder, "You **like** Kyle."

"I do," Meredith laughed, "but I liked him more when he was just some stupid frat guy you slept with at random parties," she told her.

"I didn't," Amelia argued, "This is so much easier; most of the time I don't even have to put makeup on."

"Hey!" Meredith said excitedly, "Have you told Mama Shep yet?" she asked with a knowing smile.

"I mean... I've hinted at the possibility of maybe having a possibility of..."

"That's a no," Meredith laughed, reaching toward the table for her phone, "I think I'll give her a call, you know, just check in," she said slyly, snatching her phone and jumping off of the couch.

"Meredith Grey," she snapped, "Don't you dare. Do not take all of your anti-relationship energy out on mine," she said, bolting toward her, she wrapped her arms around her, struggling to grab the phone.

"Amy," Meredith giggled, clutching the phone to her chest, "That is not fair!"

"Neither is this," Amy laughed, tickling her sides.

Meredith squealed and squirmed away as their door clicked open, "Ooh can I join?" Kyle asked suggestively as he moved closer.

"Eww," Meredith said, her laughter dying as she scrunched her nose.

Amelia's face lit up as she let Meredith go, "Hey," she cheered, "What are you doing here?"

"I was around town and I thought I'd pop in for a little..." Kyle raised his eyebrows suggestively and moved closer, putting his hands on her hips.

Meredith squirmed uncomfortably and gagged a little, "I'm gonna go ahead and turn this tv all the way up while you two..." she gestured between them with a grimace as she plopped on the couch.

"You do that," Amelia giggled, kissing Kyle's neck as his hands roamed her body, "Try not to think porny thoughts about Sparkly-Eye Guy," she called.

"I am **not** going to think porny thoughts about Derek," Meredith groaned, throwing her head back against the couch cushion.

 _Derek. You said his name. You said Derek's name instead of Sparkly-Eye Guy.  
Relax. Breath. She won't notice._

Amelia and Kyle continued to stumble toward her room, their lips interlocked as she shimmied his leather jacket off of his shoulders. As Kyle's lips moved from her lips to her neck, a look of confusion crossed her face.

 _Derek. Brother? Sparkly-Eye Guy? They're **not the same person, right?**_

"Did you say, Derek?" Amelia asked breathlessly, closing her eyes momentarily at the sensation of Kyle's kisses.

"No," Meredith snorted nervously, "You're off in porny land over there, focus on that."

"Stop," Amelia hissed, shoving Kyle away a little bit and looking at Meredith, "Is Sparkly-Eye Guy's name?"

Meredith rolled her eyes and grabbed the remote, "No," she said unconvincingly.

 _Derek. Derek works at the same hospital as Ellis, he's a second-year resident, he has blue eyes, and he's annoying as hell, but in a way that makes people like him._

"Sparkly-Eye Guy is Derek," she said slowly.

Meredith swallowed heavily.

 _Do not engage. Don't deny or agree, just, don't engage_

"You're falling for my brother?" Amelia snapped, staring at Meredith.

"I'm uh... I'm gonna meet you in..." Kyle stammered a bit, darting toward her room.

"I... uh... well," Meredith attempted to deny, dropping the remote and standing up.

There was a fire kindling in her eyes as Amelia stood there, waiting for Meredith to answer, "Say something, anything. Tell me I'm wrong..." she nearly shouted.

 _Don't tell her. Do not tell her._

"I didn't know he was your brother when we first met," she spat out urgently.

 _Dammit, Meredith. What the hell?_

"You and Derek?" Amelia snorted a laugh of disbelief, "Derek is Sparkly-Eye Guy. **My** **brother** is your guy."

Meredith winced at her tone, "I didn't know... Amy, when we met... I..."

"Don't," she snapped, "Don't you dare call me Amy. You don't get to..." she trailed off angrily.

"Amelia, please," Meredith said desperately, inching closer.

"You didn't say anything! We were at my house with him and you said **nothing** ," she snapped, "For over a week, you've said nothing."

"I know, I know I'm sorry. I didn't know how to tell you and I…"

"Sparkly-Eye guy is my **brother** and neither of you told me?" she asked, moving toward the coffee table and downing her beer before darting to the kitchen and throwing the can in the recycling harshly.

"It wasn't… a plan… there was no plan because there isn't supposed to be a thing," Meredith stuttered, "except I think there is a thing because I really like him but he's your brother and my mom's his boss and nothing is…"

"This is the kind of shit people tell each other, Mer!" she nearly shouted, pacing the room, "I mean I get that you're all dark and twisty and your family sucks but I think you should understand that…"

"That what?" Meredith asked incredulously, getting frustrated, "That I'm not supposed to meet a random guy at a hospital who happens to be the brother **you** failed to tell me you have?"

"Yes," she groaned, glaring at Meredith before storming off into her room and slamming the door.

 _What did you do?_ _ **Why**_ _did you do that?  
_ _I need a drink. A strong drink._

Meredith walked in circles as her mind raced with nearly a dozen disastrous scenarios before she huffed miserably and snatched her phone from the coffee table.

"This is..." a voice began.

"Addison," Meredith sighed as the redhead picked up, "I need a drink, right now, a strong one and I need someone to bitch to," she nodded assuredly.

"Oh thank God," Addison groaned, "So do I."

"Good, that's good," Meredith breathed with a tense smile, "Marlow's in twenty?" she asked.

Addison chuckled dryly, "I'll be there in ten," she promised.

* * *

"Meredith!" Addison's voice cut through the crowd as she waved to the blonde.

Smiling, Meredith wove her way through the group of people, "Hey," she sighed, flopping down on a stool next to her, "Tequila, please," Meredith told the bartender.

"Woah, tequila?" the woman asked in surprise, "This must be serious."

"It's not," Meredith assured her, thanking the bartender as he set a shot glass in front of her, "I mean… it kinda is but in the grand scheme of things it's so stupid," she groaned.

Addison just looked at her, "Ok," she said slowly, "I'm gonna need more to go off of, Mer."

Meredith sighed heavily, "Derek and I have been… flirty and we've made out a couple times and…"

"Derek Shepherd?" Addison asked sharply, "You have a thing with Derek Shepherd?"

"No! I don't and that's the problem, I told him that we can't have a thing," Meredith groaned, throwing back her shot with barely a wince, "because my **mother** is his boss and my best friend is his sister."

"Your mother is Ellis Grey?" Addison asked, her eyes widening as she set her glass down with a thud.

"Yes, but that's not the point," Meredith said waving her hand.

Addison scoffed, "You're medical royalty how is that not the point?"

"Because Amy knew that I like a guy at work but she didn't know that the guy was her brother and I just told her and there was yelling and she slammed the door and what if she never forgives me for this, I can't lose my best…" Meredith rambled nervously.

"Wait," Addison held up a hand, "Did you know Derek was her brother when you met him?

"No," Meredith sighed, "but then she took me to dinner at her mom's again and he was there this time and we pretended we hadn't met before and…"

"How did you not put two and two together?" Addison asked her with a chuckle, "They have the same hair, eyes, and **last name** , Meredith."

"Shepherd is a common name!" Meredith snapped, "I had no idea she even had a brother. I know about the crazy sisters, but she never said anything about a brother until before the dinner."

"Well **that** is her own damn fault," Addison told her seriously, "She'll get over it, Amy always does, she's just a hothead."

"You know her too?" Meredith groaned.

Addison just laughed, "I've known Derek since college," she admitted.

Meredith rolled her eyes, "Of course you have," she muttered wearily.

"Look, Meredith, I'm sure everything will work out," Addison assured her, placing a hand on her arm.

"I don't know," Meredith huffed a sigh.

"Do you want to hear my stupid boy story to make you feel better?" she offered, raising her eyebrows.

"God, yes," Meredith chuckled, ordering another drink.

Addison took a sip of her drink, "Ok, do you know who Mark Sloan is?"

Meredith nodded, "He works at the hospital. He's the manwhore who does all the nurses."

"Right, yes, exactly the one," Addison said a bit apprehensively, "last Friday, he and I had sex."

"What?" Meredith asked, her eyes snapping up to Addison's face as they widened.

"I had sex with Mark Sloan," she said slowly, rubbing a hand over her forehead and groaning, "and it was amazing. Like mind-boggling, world-turning, amazing sex," she emphasized, gesturing with her hands, "except now, I'm just another notch and I have to work with him every single day knowing that I'm just a notch on a giant ass bed-post of women he's laid."

"Woah," Meredith breathed.

"Yeah," she rolled her eyes and looked at her cup glumly, "Woah."

Meredith looked at Addison, "Do you… want to be more than a notch?"

Addison laughed dryly, "Mark doesn't do more than notches," she snorted, "I've known him as long as I've known Derek and… Mark doesn't do more than notches."

"But you want to be more than a notch," Meredith finished for her, taking another shot.

She nodded sadly, "I want to be more than a notch," Addison said, gulping down the rest of her drink, "but, like you said, the guy's a manwhore. He'll do anything that breathes, I'm nothing special to him."

"I think you're special," Meredith said with a cheesy grin.

"You're drunk," Addison laughed.

Meredith shook her head and giggled, "Tipsy, not drunk," she corrected, "When I'm drunk, I dance on tables."

Addison raised her eyebrows excitedly, "Ooh, that sounds like fun, want a few more?" she asked, gesturing toward their glasses.

"Hell yeah," Meredith giggled again.

 _Boys are stupid. Tequila is amazing. Getting drunk and dancing on tables is a lot more enticing than thinking about stupid boys._

* * *

It was early in the morning, Derek and Mark were sitting side by side in camp chairs, a cooler full of beer and a couple sandwiches sitting between them, their fishing poles in hand while they waited for a nibble along the stream.

"So," Mark said slowly, breaking the silence, "You know Addie and I went to that bar Friday night?"

Derek groaned quietly, "Mark, you're gonna scare away the fish again."

"We had sex," Mark said quickly.

"You and Addison," Derek asked, his eyes wide, "You and Addison had sex," he repeated.

"Yeah, that's what I said," Mark rolled his eyes before casting out again.

"She was supposed to be your wingwoman, not **the** woman," Derek groaned, tugging at his line a bit.

"Well she's a shit wingwoman," he snapped, "I asked for you."

Derek shrugged, "I'm glad I didn't go, I would never have had sex with you," he smirked with a chuckle.

"Good," Mark spat out in reply, sending him a disgusted look.

"So," Derek began slowly as the laughter died down, "What are you gonna do?"

Mark scoffed, "Nothing, it was a one night stand. They happen all the time," he shrugged.

"Yes, but… this is Addison," Derek told him.

"Jesus, Shep, I know!" He said, sipping his beer.

Derek shook his head, "We've known her for years and you have to go all man whore on her? You have to work with her."

Mark shrugged, "She's OB, I'm plastics, I don't **have** to see her if I don't want to."

"You just keep telling yourself that," Derek chuckled.

"I will," Mark snorted, giving him side eye,"You need to get laid, Shep," he said suddenly.

Derek's head snapped toward him and he laughed, rolling his eyes, "I do not need to get laid."

Mark hissed, "Denial, one of the stages of grief, my friend."

"I'm sorry, but some of us would rather work or sleep or do **anything** other than going to a bar and objectifying women until one sticks."

"Derek, man, this is just sad," Mark shook his head, "When's the last time you were with a girl."

"You know when," he said, "and it did not end well," he groaned, rubbing a hand across his face.

"You date one lunatic and now you're done for good?"

Derek sighed and looked back across the water, "She was **not** a lunatic."

Mark looked at him with wide eyes, raising his eyebrows, "She filled your locker with condoms and snuck into our apartment to cut off a piece of your hair," he argued.

"Ok… I… she was sick," Derek reminded him with a glance.

"Whatever," Mark huffed, "The point is, you've gotta get back on the horse."

"I **am** back on the horse," Derek said defensively.

 _Why did you say that, you idiot?_

"What?"

"She's very stubborn and intelligent and sassy, so I'm not on the horse but I'm near the horse," Derek offered, rolling his eyes.

"You're in the process of wooing a woman and you didn't tell me?"

"Don't get all sensitive on me," Derek said, grabbing a beer from the cooler.

Mark made a face, offended by his comment before nodding slowly, "So this girl…"

Derek rolled his eyes over his beer, "She's an orderly at the hospital… and she… she's Amy's friend."

"Amy's friend?" Mark snapped up in his seat and stared at him, "She's a **med student**?"

 _Shit, Shep, why the did you go and tell him that?_

"She is, but she…"

Mark continued to stare, "Is that even legal?"

"Mark," Derek scoffed, glaring at him, "It's five years, she's twenty-three."

"You're twenty-eight!"

"Wow, you can add, I'm so proud of you," Derek told him dryly.

"You're giving me shit about screwing Addison and you're over there trying to bang a twelve-year-old?"

"She's twenty-three," Derek told him sternly, shaking his head with a disbelieving chuckle, "and I'm not trying to bang Meredith, I'm trying to **date** her. Do you know what that is?" He asked in a condescending tone.

"Yeah but she's Amy's friend," Mark said.

Derek raised his eyebrows, "You're really gonna go there? I **know** the two of you did it last year."

"That was different. It was a one-timer, not a relationship," Mark argued.

"That still doesn't change the fact that you slept with my sister," Derek chuckled.

"Whatever," Mark snorted a laugh, "At least I get myself laid regularly."

"Yeah with the **entire** hospital staff," Derek stated simply, "What are you gonna do when you run out of colleagues to screw?"

Mark just glared at him, his head snapped toward his fishing pole as he felt a tug and sprang to his feet, "Yes!" he cheered, reeling it in.

"Aww, dammit," Derek groaned, his head falling back in defeat.

"Looks like **you** get to call mom for me," Mark said, standing up and reaching out to grab his line before laughing and shoving the fish in Derek's face.

* * *

 _Just call her. You made a deal. You need to call her.  
_ _She's your mother, she isn't going to hurt you.  
_ _You're just the messenger._

Derek groaned, running a hand through his hair as he sat stretched out on a lounge chair on his balcony, overlooking the street. He cradled a mug of steaming coffee in one hand and stared at the cell phone resting on the table next to him.

 _Grow a pair, Shep._

He released a breath and snatched the phone off of the table. He dialed his mom's number and listened as the phone rang a few times.

"Hello?" a soft voice answered after a minute.

"Hey, Ma," Derek grinned, "How are you?"

"Derek," she sighed happily, he could hear the smile in her voice, "I'm doing fine, Dear. I was just about to head out to the Farmer's Market with a friend. Do you have the day off?"

"I do," Derek nodded, "Mark and I went fishing this morning," he told her.

"Oh really?" she asked, a bit surprised, "How is Mark-y doing?"

Derek chuckled, "Well, Ma, that's what I'm calling you about."

"Oh no, what did he do?" Carolyn groaned.

"Nothing," Derek smiled, laughing a bit.

 _At least nothing that I'm telling my mother.  
_ _It has nothing to do with the conversation, leave it out._

"Well what is it, Dear," she said, a bit annoyed, "I don't have long."

"Mark would like an invitation to our next family dinner," Derek told her quickly, "He feels left out and he misses you."

"That boy," she snapped, "You tell Mark that he is **not** getting an invitation to dinner until he acts like a man and comes to me himself. If he really misses me, he better walk his ass over here and tell me," she told Derek sternly.

"Ma, language," he laughed, shaking his head a bit.

"Don't filter me," Carolyn muttered, "I know damn well that you and your sister have anything but clean mouths."

Derek bit his cheek to keep from laughing again, "True," he nodded, "I'll pass along the message," he assured her.

"That's all I ask, thank you," his mother said seriously, "Now I only have a few more minutes, but I would like you to answer a question for me."

"Shoot," Derek told her.

"What do you think of Meredith?" she asked him suspiciously, "Amelia's friend from dinner last week?"

 _Shit. She knows. How does she know?_

"Oh, I... I don't know," Derek murmured, taking a sip of his coffee.

"Hmm," Carolyn hummed, "She's a very sweet girl. It seems she's had a hard life," she added.

Derek nodded to himself and closed his eyes.

"I'm thinking of inviting her to Thanksgiving," she continued on pensively, "Do you think Amelia would mind? She's a little odd about..."

"No," Derek said, clearing his throat, "I think it's a fine idea," he told her with a smile, "I'm sure Amelia would love to spend the holidays with a friend on her side," he chuckled.

"Ahhh, right," Carolyn laughed, "A little more help fending off the wolves?"

"We love them, Mom," he assured her, "but they're..."

"They're a difficult bunch... always have been," his mother agreed, "If I didn't know any better, I'd wonder if they were Aunt Gina's children."

"Mom," Derek chided with a laugh.

"Oh hush," Carolyn told him, "Don't you dare tell your sisters that, any of them," she said sternly.

"Ok," Derek snorted a chuckle as he finished off his coffee and set it aside.

Carolyn released a breath, "I need to get going, Dear, but be sure to pass along my message to Mark," she told him sternly.

"Oh I will," he told her, "Enjoy your day, Mom, I'll talk to you later," he said softly.

"Thank you," she smiled, "and **you** enjoy your day off."

"Thanks, Love you, I'll see ya," he told her, hanging up the phone as she said goodbye and placing it on the table next to him again.

 _That went... well?  
Mark's going to be pissed that his 'genius' plan didn't work out.  
But, mom doesn't suspect anything is going on between you and Meredith so that's... good, right?_

* * *

 _ **I hope you're all still enjoying this story, there's still a lot going on and that won't stop anytime soon!**_

 _ **Thank you for your feedback! I really appreciate hearing from all of you who have responded.**_

 _ **MerDer2015:** I'm so glad you're loving the story so far! Thank you so much for your kind reviews, I'm excited for you to see what's coming up!  
 **Patsy:** I'm glad you've enjoyed this Thanksgiving gift! Mine was great, lots of family time and good food! It's exciting to hear that you're so hooked and I hope that I can keep up with your hopes for this story! THANK YOU :)  
 **Guests:** Thank you so much for taking the time to read this story and tell me what you think! I appreciate your reviews SO much. Thanks again!  
_


	4. Coffee is Always Special

**Disclaimer: I do know own any Grey's Anatomy characters.**

 **Read.  
Hopefully, enjoy.  
Review if you'd like.**

* * *

Derek was meandering around the house in jeans and his old Bowdoin sweatshirt when his doorbell rang and was quickly followed by vicious knocking.

"Derek Shepherd, I know you're in there," an angry voice called.

 _Amelia?_

Derek sighed and made his way to the door, barely turning the knob before Amelia barged in, "Well hello to you too," he snorted, turning around and closing the door behind himself.

Amelia stood in front of him, glaring, "If you hurt her I will kill you," she shouted, "Meredith Grey does not do relationships or family or anything resembling normal people things. She drinks a ridiculous amount of tequila and she burns toast," she breathed, moving closer, "If you want a relationship with her, you better mean it because if you don't it will break her."

"She told you," Derek nodded slowly, shoving his hands into his pockets.

His sister rolled her eyes, "Yeah, asshole, she told me. I'm her best friend…" she trailed off, her intensity dying down.

"Amy," Derek said slowly, raising his eyebrows and holding his hands up in defense, "I know that."

"I've never had a friend like her before, she gets me, she **cares** about me and deals with my stupid shit all the time," Amelia told him honestly, "Meredith is more of a sister to me than my **real** blood-related sisters, Derek and if you ruin **that** , I'll never forgive you," she spat, her voice cracking in the slightest.

His hands dropped to his sides and he tilted his head, looking at her sadly, "Amy, you have me," he told her.

She groaned and rolled her eyes again, "But you're not a girl."

 _I need you and I need Meredith and the two of you being together can't mean I get shoved out._

Derek smirked and huffed a laugh, "Come here," he said, moving closer and holding his arms out for a hug.

Amelia stayed put and crossed her arms, "Promise me. Promise me that you won't Mark Sloan her and promise me that you won't forget about me," she told him sternly.

"I promise," Derek chuckled, shaking his head and pulling her into a big hug, "I don't even know if Meredith wants…"

"She does," Amelia murmured into his chest, "More than she knows," she continued, pulling away from him, "She doesn't let people in easily. It's hard to get close to her, but once you do, she's really great," she told him honestly.

He sighed and nodded, a slight smile playing on his face, "Want a beer?" he asked her, walking toward the kitchen.

"God, yes," she groaned, pulling off her coat and throwing it over a chair before following him, "You better never keep anything like this from me again," she told him sternly as he handed her a beer, "You do and I'm icing you out for at least a year."

"Amy," he laughed, shutting the fridge and cracking open his beer, "You don't have to know everything that happens in my life."

"Yes I do!" she argued, "It's you and me against the crazies, and I can't fight for you if you don't tell me this shit."

Derek rolled his eyes, "Fine," he said simply.

 _You know better than to fight this battle, buddy._

"So…" Amelia said slowly as they made their way toward the couch, "When are you gonna call her?"

"I don't have her number," Derek said with a shrug, "I'll see her at work eventually."

"You don't have her number yet?" Amelia asked her brother with an edge to her voice.

Derek scoffed, "No, I'm trying to respect her boundaries."

 _Right, making out with her in a supply closet and an elevator are very respectful things to do._

Amelia hopped onto her knees and leaned closer, "She doesn't need her boundaries to be respected! She needs them to be pushed!"

"Would you calm down and get out of my love life?"

"No! This is my best friend we're talking about, there is no calming down, Derek," she told him seriously.

"I didn't know she was your best friend when we met and I think I…"

"Fuck," Amelia groaned, stretching to put her beer on the coffee table as she got up from the couch, "I have to go."

Derek looked between her and the couch in confusion, "You barge into my apartment, yell at me, steal a beer, and…"

"This isn't about you," she snapped, shoving her arms into the sleeves of her coat, "I yelled at her and I was a bitch and then I went into my room and I haven't talked to her since she told me and now I'm here and I'm not pissed but she doesn't know that so she's probably freaking out and going all 'apocolypse now' all by herself," she rambled, shoving her phone and her keys into her pockets as she walked toward the door.

Derek laughed and watched as she freaked out, "Well what did you say to her?"

"I don't know, I just kind of… yelled," she said frantically, bolting out of the apartment.

* * *

 _What did I get myself into?  
_ _Amy's never going to forgive me.  
_ _I can't stop thinking about Derek. His lips, his hair, his eyes. Ugh._

Meredith paced the living room of her apartment, the residual effects of the hangover she'd woken up to making her nauseous as she did. On her tenth lap, a piece of paper on the fridge caught her eye.

 _Amy's emergency contacts. Derek, I should call Derek.  
_ _What the hell are you gonna say to him?  
_ _He knows his sister. He'll know how to fix this._

She darted toward the fridge and ripped the piece of paper off. After scanning it, she realized the number was nowhere to be found.

 _Of course it isn't. She never told me about her brother. Why would his name and number be on the fridge?_

Meredith groaned and ran her hands through her hair.

 _Addison! Addie has to have his number._

She took her phone out of her pocket and sent a text to the woman she'd recently become friends with. Less than a minute later, Addison responded with his contact. Meredith clicked, her phone dialed, and she froze.

 _Shit. What are you gonna say?_

"Hello, this is Derek Shepherd," his voice came through the receiver.

"I told her," Meredith squeaked, "I told her and now she hates me and she's my best friend, Derek! She's my person and she hates me," Meredith told him nervously, her breathing escalating.

 _Good lord, maybe a 'hi' next time before you assault someone over the phone?_

"Meredith?" Derek asked, confusion lacing his voice, "How did you get my number?"

 _Way to go, Grey, he's gonna think you're a lunatic._

"Yes, yeah, sorry," she stammered, pacing the room again, "Addie gave it me."

"Addison Montgomery?" he asked, "How do you…"

"Derek," Meredith groaned, "I'm freaking out here."

"Meredith," he said, a bit amused as a soft smiled played on his face, "It's ok."

"But it's not," she croaked, tears pooling behind her eyes as she plopped onto her couch, "because I like you but I love your sister and…"

"She loves you too," he assured her.

Meredith rolled her eyes and snorted sadly, "Not anymore," she told him, "Now I'm just the bitch who's falling for her brother."

Derek smirked, "You're falling for me?" he asked her.

"That's not the point," she cried.

"I know," Derek chuckled, "but don't worry about Amy. She's ok now," he promised her.

"You don't know that," Meredith snapped.

"I do," he nodded, "She barged into my apartment and yelled at me, then she hugged me and I gave her a beer and she practically ran out of the building to go talk to you," he snorted, "She'll probably be there any minute."

"Really?" Meredith breathed.

Derek smiled softly, "Really," he told her.

"Thank God," Meredith groaned.

 _Amy isn't going to kill me. She doesn't hate me. She's still my person._

"Does this mean you'll go out with me now?"

"Shut up."

"It was a serious question," he laughed.

Meredith rolled her eyes, "It means… that there is less standing in the way of me thinking about it," she said, a smile forming on her face.

"That's a yes," Derek smirked, raising his eyebrows.

"No it's not," she told him, amused before releasing a sigh, "My mother is **still** your boss."

"But," he offered, "she doesn't want anyone in the hospital knowing you're her daughter, so technically your mother isn't my boss because, at the hospital, Dr. Ellis Grey does not have a daughter," he tried to reason with her.

"You're impossible," Meredith snorted a laugh.

"I'm impossible?" he asked, slightly offended, " **You're** impossible," he argued.

"I'm not trying to be impossible," Meredith defended herself, rolling her eyes, "This is just… I'm…"

"New to this," he filled in for her.

"Yes, but I don't want you to know that," she groaned, "Did Amy say something?"

"She's just trying to protect you."

"I don't need protecting."

"It's what people do when they care about you," Derek told her seriously, "They protect you and from the sounds of it, you haven't had much experience with that either, but you're practically a Shepherd now," he chuckled, before shaking his head quickly and clarifying, his eyes growing wide, "That wasn't a… I'm just saying, you're Amy's best friend and you've been to the house and Ma's never going to let you feel like anything other than family. She takes in strays, it's what she does."

"Dinner was nice," Meredith conceded, picking at the blanket draped over her couch, "and your mom is very mom-ish."

"She is," Derek chuckled, "She's the anti-Ellis."

"That's exactly what your sister said," Meredith smiled, "I wouldn't mind being a Shepherd stray."

"I wouldn't mind if you were a Shepherd stray," he told her softly.

"I know," she whispered.

"You're a lot cuter than the last stray," Derek told her.

"Who was the last stray?"

"Mark," Derek laughed.

"Mark Sloan?" Meredith asked curiously, "Manwhore that slept with Addie?"

"Yeah," he said slowly, "How do you know about that?"

Meredith shrugged, "Addie and I have been hanging out. We got drinks last night because I was freaking out about the 'us' thing and she spilled to make me feel better."

"Hmmm," Derek hummed, "How's she feeling about it?"

"I don't know if I can tell you that," Meredith sighed, "I don't think I was even supposed to tell you it happened."

"I understand," he told her honestly, "Mark and I went fishing this morning, he told me, you're in the clear."

"Mark told you?"

"Yeah."

"Does he… usually, tell you who he sleeps with?"

Derek rolled his eyes, "He tells me **way** too much," he admitted.

"Hmmm."

"What?"

"Nothing," Meredith said weakly, "It's just… ok, I'm going to tell you something and you can't talk to anyone else about it, got it?" she asked him with an edge in her voice.

"Got it," he conceded.

 _First, she calls us a thing, now she's telling me a secret? Is this going the way I think it's going?_

"Addie hates that she's a one-night stand," she told him with a sigh, "She kept talking about not wanting to be a just another notch on his bedpost."

Derek groaned, "I was worried about that. I hope she's ok. Maybe I should call her later."

"Maybe," Meredith nodded.

 _Derek and Addison have never… have they? Crap. They've probably done it or at least dated at some point. She's a freaking supermodel. Tall, perfect legs, beautiful hair, hell, no one looks good in scrubs **except** Addison. _

Meredith's head whipped toward the front door as she heard a key turn in the lock, "Amy's back," she told Derek, "Thank you for… everything," Meredith said softly.

"You're welcome," he told her with a smile, "I'll see you tomorrow?"

"You will," she nodded and smiled at Amelia as she burst into the apartment, "Seeya," she said, hanging up and setting her phone on the coffee table.

"Meredith," Amelia sighed, shoving her shoes off and moving into the living room.

"So I'm a Shepherd stray now?" Meredith asked with a laugh.

Amelia looked at her in confusion, "What?"

"I was freaking out," she admitted, "so I got Derek's number from Addie and I called him."

A smile made its way onto her face, "You called him?"

"I called him," Meredith said, a small smile on her face as she rolled her eyes.

* * *

"Hey," Meredith called as she spotted a tall redhead walking past the nurse's station.

Addison whipped her head around and a smile came to her face, "Hey, Mer," she said, coming up to the counter, "You spend a lot of time here for a med student," she chuckled.

Meredith rolled her eyes, "I'm not here **that** often, but… often enough," she shrugged.

"To make eyes at Shepherd?" she asked.

"No," Meredith chuckled, "To work, you know, pad the resume and all that jazz."

"All that jazz?" Addison said, raising her eyebrows, "Don't say that," she told her seriously, resting on the counter, "So… why did you ask for his number yesterday?"

"Oh, well, I…" Meredith cleared her throat, "I was freaking out."

"You were freaking out," Addison repeated, "So you called the man responsible for your freakout?"

"It was good!" Meredith defended, leaning back in her chair, "Amy had just left his apartment to come talk to me. Apparently, I'm a Shepherd stray," she said cockily, "and Amy worries."

"You **are** a Shepherd stray," Derek said with a smile as he approached the nurse's station with two cups of coffee, "This is for you," he said, setting one down next to Meredith before taking a seat on the counter near it.

"I always wanted to be a Shepherd stray," Addison said wistfully, "Or I did until I met the other sisters."

"Thank you," Meredith smiled at the coffee-gifter, taking a sip before turning to Addie.

Derek snorted, "You're practically a stray," he assured her.

Addison shrugged, "Mama Shep loves me, but she loves everyone and **I** was never invited to dinner."

"She invited you to dinner once," Derek reminded her, bringing his coffee cup to his lips.

"Once," Addison nodded, "but only because you and I had that thing," she snorted.

 _They had a 'thing', what kind of thing?_

Derek shrugged, "You were invited though," he said.

" **You've** met the other sisters?" Meredith asked, swinging back and forth in her chair a bit.

Addison rolled her eyes, "Regretfully."

"Oh come on," Derek chuckled, before looking at Meredith, "They're not that bad," he told her, his eyes lingering on hers for a moment.

Meredith snorted and her eyes widened a bit, "Not that bad? I've heard horror stories," she told him, "Like locking people in rooms and tying them up in a dark basement and putting Nair in your shampoo, horror stories, Derek."

He hissed and raised his eyebrows, "That Nair thing did lose me a date to the prom."

 _Kind of hard to fight back on that, bud.  
_ _Amy really does tell her everything._

"Nance and the Nair story?" Mark snorted as he strolled up to the counter, "Classic," he smirked, nodding with his hands on his hips.

Meredith choked on her coffee as she looked between Addison's nervously terrified face and Mark's cocky one.

 _Way to be discreet, Grey._

"You ok?" Derek chuckled, rubbing her shoulder.

Meredith nodded and wiped the coffee from her nose.

"Ahh, you must be the infamous Meredith," Mark said with a smirk, "Nice to meet you," he said, reaching his hand out.

She didn't move, "We've met," she smiled sarcastically, "You offered to do me in an on-call room between rounds and you've screwed seventy-five percent of the people I work under."

"Ouch," Derek hissed, glancing over at Mark with a chuckle.

 _Handles Mark Sloan with grace? Check._

"You never could put a name to an ass, Sloan," Addison grumbled, shaking her head with a scoff.

Mark looked between the two with an unreadable expression on his face. He shifted uncomfortably and chuckled a little, "I could pick yours out of a lineup any day, Addie."

She whipped around to face him, "I'm sure that'd be quite a line," she spat before turning and walking away angrily.

"You are such a pig," Meredith grimaced, looking from him to Derek, "How are you two friends?"

Derek shook his head as he glared at Mark, who just raised his eyebrows, released a breath and turned away on his heel.

"I should go see what that's about," Derek said with a sigh as he turned back to Meredith, "Enjoy your coffee," he smirked, "I'll call you later," he promised, hopping off of the counter and walking down the same hallway Mark had stalked down moments before.

 _He'll call you later; that was… casual and normal and… good.  
_ _But really; How the hell is_ _ **that**_ _guy Mark Sloan's best friend?_

* * *

"What the hell was that?" Derek asked, barging into an on-call room, "I know you screw a lot of women, but dammit, Mark," he snapped, slamming the door closed, "You cannot talk about a woman like that. Like a piece of meat..." he seethed.

"I like her," Mark interjected, looking up from the bed he was sitting on miserably, "I haven't slept with anyone else all week, I can't stop thinking about her, and…"

"So you objectified her?" Derek asked him incredulously, plopping down into an armchair.

Mark groaned, and ran his hands through his hair, "I don't know, man," he snapped, standing up quickly, "I don't know how to do this shit."

"Well I can sure as hell tell you not to do that again," Derek scoffed, rubbing a hand over his face.

Mark glared at him, "You know what? Just go, man. I don't want to stand here and listen to your judgmental…"

"Do you mean it?" Derek asked him, raising his eyebrows at his friend, "Do you honestly have feelings for her?"

"Yeah, man, I do."

"Then you need to show her she's not just another notch on your bedpost," Derek told him, remembering his conversation with Meredith.

"A what?"

"Show her," Derek urged him, "Buy her coffee, ask her how her day's going, tell her she looks pretty. Woo her, Mark. Woo her," he said as his pager began to blare, "Look, I've got to take this," he sighed, getting up and moving to the door, "but think about what I said and don't be a dick again," he told him pointedly, tossing his empty coffee cup in the trashcan as he left.

Mark paced around the room, "Woo her and don't be a dick," he nodded wearily.

 _Why does he make it sound so easy?_

* * *

 _You're delivering news about a patient. This isn't a mother-daughter situation. This is a colleague-colleague situation. Just knock. Knock on the door, Meredith._

Meredith drew her hand to the door of her mother's office and rapped her knuckles against the wood.

"Come in," a tight voice replied.

She opened the door and walked into her mother's office tentatively.

 _Get it together. Remember what Amy said. Prove her wrong, Meredith._

"Dr. Grey, your patient Mr. Lance…"

"Close the door," Ellis snapped, cutting her off.

"This will only take a second," Meredith assured her.

Her mother stood up and bolted around her desk to shut the door herself, "What do you think you're doing?" she asked sternly as Meredith turned to face her, "Coming into my office in the middle of the day pretending you work here and…"

"I do work here," Meredith retorted, a look of confusion falling across her face, "You know that."

 _She wants you out so badly that in her mind you're already gone._

Ellis scoffed and stood straight, crossing her arms over her chest, "Richard obviously has no idea what he's…"

Meredith released a dry laugh, "Your patient, Mr. Lance is experiencing some discomfort," she told her mother with a forced smile, "Debbie asked that I let you know. She's paged you three times in the last twenty minutes. He's in room 3865. If you would like to avoid seeing me in the future, I suggest answering your damn pager," she snapped, staring her mother dead in the eyes.

 _No sudden movements. You know what happens now. You have poked the sleeping bear. Don't falter._

The older woman held her stare for a moment, nearly challenging her to say more, "Fine, thank you," she said shortly before turning briskly and making her way out of the office.

 _Thank you? Ellis Grey just thanked you. Your mother thanked you. You yelled at her and she_ _ **thanked**_ _you._

Meredith sighed and shook her head, walking through the door of her mother's office and turning back to look at her desk for a moment.

 _It's messy. There aren't any charts on it. What was she doing?_

She turned and closed the door behind herself. Looking up, she noticed Derek walking down the hall, heading her way with his face buried in his phone.

 _He looks confused… maybe concerned?  
_ _What is with people today?_

"Hey," she called softly, walking up to him.

Derek's head whipped up and he nearly ran into her, "Sorry," he chuckled, grabbing her arm, "Hey," he sighed.

Meredith smiled softly, "Are you… ok?" she asked him.

"Yeah," he nodded with a smile, "yes, I'm… I'm good," he told her, biting his lip.

"I think that you're lying, but I don't know you that well so I'll just take that as your answer for now," she told him seriously.

He snorted a laugh, "Thanks?"

"You're welcome," Meredith nodded with a laugh, "Thanks for the coffee," she smiled, "It was surprisingly good and very… un-hospitaly."

"Un-hospitaly?" he chuckled, crossing his arms and leaning against the wall next to them.

 _Ugh. Not the leaning thing again._

"Shut-up," Meredith rolled her eyes, placing a hand on the guardrail attached to the wall and looking down for a second.

"For your information," he told her, raising his eyebrows, "you're right. It wasn't hospital coffee."

"Where'd you get it?"

Derek clicked his tongue and shook his head, "A man never divulges his secrets."

"Why not?" Meredith snort, "It might be a good study place," she offered.

"It might be," he shrugged, "but if I tell you, you'll go there without me and then I'll bring you coffee and it won't be anything special."

"Coffee's always special," she told him, "It's coffee."

"Coffee's special because it's coffee?" Derek laughed, "Are you sure you're a med student? I don't know if your grammar skills are up to par."

Meredith just rolled her eyes, "Whatever," she told him, "I don't need your stupid possibly-amazing study space."

Derek hissed and brought a hand to his chest, "Ouch, that one was deep," he chuckled, tilting his head a bit, "So…" he started slowly, "Have you talked to my mother recently?"

"I don't even talk to **my** mother," Meredith snorted.

"So that's a no?" he asked, amused.

"That's a no," she confirmed.

"Hmmm," he hummed, "Well, then I can warn you. She's going to call you and invite you to Thanksgiving at her house."

"What?" Meredith asked, her eyes widening, "Why?"

Derek shrugged, "She likes you… and you're her stray," he smirked.

 _She's cute when she's flustered. Her eyes get a little dart-y._

"Does she know that you and I…" Meredith began, swallowing thickly.

He shook his head, "She doesn't know about us."

"There is no 'us'," Meredith told him sternly.

Derek smirked and shrugged nonchalantly, "There could be an us if you want there to be," he offered, shifting a bit closer, "We could study together at the possibly-amazing study space," he told her.

"It's not about what I want," Meredith told him seriously, backing up a bit, "This can't happen."

"Come on," he groaned, "Amy knows," he reminded her.

"I **know** that Amy knows," Meredith rolled her eyes, "but my mother doesn't know and she **can't** know, which is fine because there's nothing to know about," she determined.

Derek sighed, "Fine," he said simply, "but come to Thanksgiving."

"No."

"What?" he asked with a laugh, "Why not?"

"I have plans," she told him with a smirk, "With Richard and Adele."

He looked at her, obviously unconvinced, "You're standing me up for the Chief?"

Meredith shook her head and bit her cheek with a chuckle, "I'm standing your mom up for the Chief," she told him with a smirk.

"What's the story between you and the Webbers anyway?" Derek asked incredulously.

"It's long and exhausting, ancient history," she told him suspiciously.

Derek snorted, "You're twenty-three. You can't have an ancient history."

She shrugged, "We're not a thing, I don't have to tell you anything."

His eyes widened and he snorted a laugh, "Well fine then."

Meredith rolled her eyes, "Don't you have work to do?"

"You stopped **me**!"

"Yes," she laughed, "but you do have a job here."

"I'm off as of twenty minutes ago," he told her, giving her a dirty look, "You have a job here too, you know."

"My shift's over," she told him dryly.

"Hey," he said excitedly, "What a coincidence," he cheered with a bright smile, "Why don't we go check out that coffee shop? We could study together," he told her, his voice dropping to a whisper.

"What do **you** have to study?" she asked him, amused.

Derek shrugged, "I'm on a temporal lobectomy tomorrow with Richardson, I've got plenty of research to do."

 _She's a med student, she'll love this._

Her eyes bugged, "You're cutting a piece of someone's brain out?" she asked excitedly.

"Well, Richardson is, but I'm assisting," he told her honestly, "but if you pass up a coffee da… study session, you'll pass up an opportunity to see the inner workings of a…"

"Fine," she said suddenly, a smirk on her face, "but it's not a date," her smiled fell.

"Fine," Derek smirked, tilting his head.

 _There's the sparkle. Dammit._

"So…" she said slowly, "Tell me where it is and I'll meet you there?"

"Nope," he shook his head, "If we do that, you might bail," he said knowingly, "Meet me in the lobby in 10, it's walking distance."

Meredith shook her head with a smirk, "You are so…"

"Oh come on we've had this conversation before, Meredith," he told her, pushing himself off the wall, "We've established that I'm handsome," he winked, moving around her, "Seeya in ten," he called as he walked away.

 _That man and his stupidly sparkly-eyed, perfect-haired, smart-ass, cocky attitude._

* * *

 **Hope you enjoyed this chapter!**

 **It's a bit long and MerDer dense compared to the others, but that's part of my peace offering. I have exams in two weeks so I'll have to focus less on stories and more on real life college-y essays. Yippee!  
But! I'll be back after exams and then I'll have a few weeks of Christmas Break to crank out a good portion of chapters to prepare for the busyness of the new, upcoming semester.**

 **I hope you'll stick around! Thank you so much to those of you who have reviewed on the past couple chapters. I appreciate the feedback; it makes my day to know that someone other than me is enjoying the story hahaha THANK YOU! :)**


	5. Thanksgiving (Part 1)

**Disclaimer: I do not own any Grey's Anatomy characters.**

 **Read.**  
 **Hopefully, enjoy.**  
 **Review if you'd like.**

* * *

"What the hell are you doing?" Amy snapped as she stormed into Meredith's room without knocking.

"The room has a door for a reason, Amelia," Meredith groaned, refusing the raise her head from the pile of papers spread across her desk as she scribbled furiously.

Amelia rolled her eyes and darted toward her friend, snatching the pen from her hand, "Come on," she groaned with a glare as.

Meredith spun toward her in her chair, "What is your problem?" she snapped.

"We have to leave, Mer, mom's gonna be pissed if I'm late again."

"I'm not going with you," Meredith told her sternly, moving from her chair just enough to grab her pen back, "I told you, I'm going to Richard and Adele's at noon and eating with them. I'll be at your house after," she said, spinning back around to her desk.

 _Because apparently, this is the year you go from no family to_ _ **two**_ _families._

"Does mom know that?" she asked sharply, shoving her hand in the pockets of her coat.

"You mother knows," Meredith grunted, attempting to focus in on her work again, "Look, I've got this paper due the day we get back from break so…"

"Amy, where are you?" a deep voice called as they heard the front door close, "We've gotta go, if we're late this year mom will put us on clean-up duty again…" the voice continued as a figure leaned against the door.

"Why don't you tell your girlfriend that," Amy snorted.

"I'm not his girlfriend," the blonde bit back, turning around again with a heavy sigh, "Hey Derek."

 _God, does he have to lean on_ _ **everything**_ _?_

Derek smirked, "Hey, Mer," he greeted.

 _Damn… leggings, a sweatshirt, no makeup, messy hair… and she still looks good?_

"Just ditch the Webbers, it's not like it'll be…"

"I'm not going to ditch them, I want to go."

"Don't force her to abandon her people on a holiday," Derek told his sister forcefully.

"You said so yourself that you were afraid of what Ellis would do if she finds out," Amelia countered, ignoring her brother, "If you come with us you won't have to worry."

Derek snorted from the doorframe, "Then she'll just be worried that something will happen that would cause Ellis to found out about us."

"There is no us," Meredith said sternly, glaring at him. The glare was short-lived as their eyes met and her face softened.

 _Pissing my mother off twice in one day… not the smartest move.  
_ _But, she'll never find out about Richard and Adele's and nothing's going on with Derek, so..._

He just chuckled and grinned, "Mmhmm," he murmured, unconvinced.

"He's been here literally every day for the past week," Amelia huffed, "I know for a fact he doesn't like **me** enough to want to see me every day."

"It's true," Derek nodded.

Meredith rolled her eyes, "We're friends… friends hang out," she said desperately, looking between the two of them."

"Hmmm," Derek hummed with a smirk, "We are friends."

"Good, God," his sister groaned, "Will you two just…"

"Amy, the number one rule of not messing shit up is to respect boundaries," Derek told her pointedly, "You should try it sometime, it'd be great."

"It'd be a freaking miracle," Meredith muttered, leaning back in her chair and yawning, "You could start by not being a jerk about it at your mom's house today, **that** would be great," she said with a fake grin.

Derek sighed as he glanced down at his watch, "Seriously though, Amy we have to go," he told her sternly, pushing himself off of the door.

"Fine," she snapped, making her way toward him before turning back to Meredith quickly, "You better not bail. Meredith Grey, I **know** you. No matter what happens with your fake-pseudo-family Thanksgiving, you better…"

"Amy, I'll be there, I promise," her friend rolled her eyes, "I'm not freaking out. I'm fine, go before you two are stuck cleaning so when I get there I don't get fed to the wolves."

"The wolves?" Derek smirked, raising his eyebrows, as he fished his buzzing phone from his pocket and glanced down at it.

 _Shit. Not now. Not today._

"Yes," Meredith nodded definitely, "Your sisters… they're wolves and apparently, at least two of your aunts and an uncle are too… according to your mother."

Derek just shrugged, raising his eyebrows as he nodded, unwilling to deny it.

Amelia eyed her suspiciously before backing toward the door, "If you're not there by four, I'm calling you. Repeatedly," she promised.

"Please don't," Meredith told her with a forced grin before swinging around to her desk again.

* * *

Derek fiddled with the radio, switching it from station to station before finally turning it off and tapping his fingers against the steering wheel. As he stopped at a red light, he pulled his phone out again and sighed heavily.

 _Everything's fine… everyone's fine. Don't turn this into something.  
_ _This does not mean that anything bad will happen today.  
_ _No one has to know. Everything will be fine._

"What is your problem?" Amelia asked him with a laugh as she looked over at him calculatingly, "Are you really that nervous about Meredith coming over for Thanksgiving?"

Derek's head snapped toward his sister as she spoke, "No," he said, a bit too quickly and forcefully as he tossed his phone back into the cupholder and the light turned green.

 _Nervous about Meredith? No.  
_ _Right now we're just friends and that's… I'll take that over nothing any day._

Her eyes widened a bit and she looked at him suspiciously, "Ok," she said slowly, "I thought you wanted her to come."

"I do," he said, his voice softer and quieter than it had been previously as he sighed.

"Look, Derek," Amy sighed, "I know you want more from her and I know that she's not ready for that yet… I'm sorry about earlier, that I…"

"Don't apologize," he said, turning his head to smile at her for a moment, "I am fully prepared to wait until she's ready, it's not that."

"Then what is it? Derek, you're a practically acting like a basketcase over there… If you walk in the door like that, no one will leave you alone."

Derek shuddered another sigh and ran a hand through his hair, "She's out," he said simply.

Amelia's face screwed in confusion, "Who's out? Meredith… do you mean like out of the closet? Look I know things are what you want but I didn't think…"

"No," Derek said, the corners of his mouth barely turning up in an amused smirk before it fell off his face, "It's Angie. Angie's out."

"Oh," she released a breath, "Shit," she muttered, looking him up and down.

"Yeah… shit."

"Derek…"

He shook his head, "Amy, don't. You asked and I told you. Can we just leave it at that? Please? It's Thanksgiving. Meredith's meeting the rest of our family, even if I can't be there for her in the way I want to… I'm her friend and…"

"You want to focus on Meredith," his sister nodded knowingly, "...not on Angie."

"Right," he said simply, sending her a hesitant smile.

"Ok fine," she conceded, "I get it, I won't mention it, but I think…"

"What?"

"I think you should tell her."

"How?" Derek scoffed, "How am I supposed to explain something **I** barely understand?"

"I don't know, Derek," Amy groaned, "... but as much as she's keeping you at a distance, she cares about you and she's let you in a lot in the last few days and…"

"If I don't tell her now, It'll be worse later," he breathed, finishing for her and turning onto his mother's street and parking alongside the yard.

"Exactly," she said quietly.

Derek chuckled, "When did you become the smart one?" he asked her.

She rolled her eyes, "I've always been the smart one," she argued.

"Ehh," Derek disagreed, looking at her, a little unsure.

"Shut-it," she said, smacking his arm, "I may not know much about relationships, but I do know Meredith."

"You do," he nodded in agreement as they got out of the car, "Speaking of relationships…"

"She told you?" Amelia squeaked as they walked up the driveway.

"We're friends," he smirked, "We talk about things."

"Ohhh," she laughed, looking at him over her shoulder, "...so you're **girl** friends."

"We are not girlfriends," he told her, rolling his eyes with a smile as they reached the front steps, "She's **your** best friend. I'm your brother. We care about you and Meredith made me promise not to say anything to anyone else in the family about it."

"Well I'm glad she's a smart backstabber," Amy rolled her eyes.

Derek glared at her, "Meredith's not a backstabber," he defended, "...she thinks it's odd you haven't told mom yet...and I agree," he said, giving her a pointed look as he opened the door, "Hey," he called out to no one in particular.

"Uncle Derek!" a little voice squeaked, colliding with his legs in a heartbeat.

"Gracie," he cheered, swooping the little girl into his arms, "How's my best girl?" he asked with a grin as the tiny redhead hugged him.

"Hey, I thought I was your favorite?" Amy asked, glaring playfully at her as she lifted a little boy with blonde hair and blue eye inter her arms, "I guess I'll have to get extra hugs from Henry today," she said, squeezing her nephew tightly.

"Mi-mi!" the little boy grunted in her arms, wiggling away from her enough to look her in the eye, "Nana's got dinos," he grinned, taking a fistful of her hair.

Amy's eyes widened, "Woah," she told him as he wriggled down.

"Thank God. I was hoping you didn't get called away to the hospital," a voice grunted from behind them as the door shut with a thud.

"Hi Marky," Grace said sweetly, bouncing in Derek's arms a bit.

Mark grinned and rubbed her head, "Hey, squirt."

Derek laughed as he turned around and Amy followed Henry out of the room, "Did you finally man up and call her?" he asked his friend as they kicked off their shoes.

"Mark Sloan!" an angry voice called.

"I'll take that as a no," Derek snorted a laugh, releasing Gracie to go off and find her cousins.

 _The man will_ _ **never**_ _learn._

"Hey, Ma," Mark said sheepishly, pulling his arms out of his coat.

Carolyn walked up to him and smacked the back of his head, "I haven't heard from you in two months, Marcus. Two. Months. I'm your mother, I'd like to know that you're alive once in awhile," she told him sternly.

"Yes, Ma'am," he muttered with a wince as he rubbed the back of his head.

"I've missed you," she sighed, pulling him into her arms.

A faint smile crossed Mark's face, "I've missed you too, Ma," he admitted as she pulled away.

"Good," she nodded, "Then from this point on, I expect a call once a week... and you're coming to Friday night dinners again."

"Noted," Mark said, hanging his coat on the wall next to Derek's as his friend snickered, "Shut up," he whispered venomously.

"I didn't say anything," Derek chuckled, turning toward his mother.

"Hello, Dear," she smiled softly, kissing his cheek and pulling him into a much quicker hug, "It's good to see you again. Did Meredith tell you what time she'd be able to make it after dinner with the Webbers?"

"About three, maybe three thirty," he smiled, his phone buzzing in his pocket for the hundredth time that day.

"Perfect, we'll wait to have dessert when she gets here," Carolyn said happily, "I have to go make sure your sisters aren't ruining my kitchen, you two say hello to everyone and find me for a job," she ordered.

"Will do," Derek nodded as she turned and made her way back toward her daughters.

"What a frickin' Mama's Boy," Mark chuckled.

Derek raised his eyebrows, "You're one to talk," he scoffed, "The second you heard her voice, I swear your balls shriveled up."

"I don't know why I put up with you," Mark said, giving him a dirty look.

"You didn't have to come," Derek laughed as they walked toward the living room, "Hey," he smirked, "How's Addison?"

"Pissed," he snorted, pulling his phone out and checking for messages.

Derek looked at him, surprised, "Still?"

"Yeah, still," Mark grunted, it was obviously still a touchy subject for him, "The woman's driving me crazy."

"Did you do anything I told you to?" Derek asked him, raising his eyebrows toward the man, stopping in the middle of the hallway.

 _Of course, he didn't. Why would he? Mark doesn't take advice from anyone._

Mark laughed dryly, "If you meant to ask whether I bring her coffee and muffins and watch chick-flicks with her... then no."

"Meredith and I don't watch chick-flicks," Derek told him seriously, "She doesn't mind them, but she likes more into scary, suspenseful stuff."

"Good… cause all this," Mark gestured around the house, "Terrifying," he said, his eyes widening a bit, "Tell her about Angie and maybe she'll finally date you," he offered with a smirk.

Derek rolled his eyes, "Mark."

He shrugged, "The girl did some creepy shit, Derek."

"She's sick. How many times do I have to tell you that she's sick," Derek snapped, crossing his arms over his chest, "Don't say anything to Meredith, I'll tell her, I just…"

"Need time to sort out what crazy shit to tell her first?"

Derek sighed and closed his eyes for a moment with a nod, "I guess."

 _Or not. You could just_ _ **not**_ _tell her ever and never have to relive the creepy, embarrassing, mess of a relationship you endured.  
_ _But, if you don't tell her, chances are someone in your family will and if you really want her around in the future it'll definitely have to be a conversation that happens._

"Look, man," Mark sighed, becoming a bit more serious, "It's not your fault you broke up with her and she took it badly. That's not on you."

"I…" Derek said, rubbing a hand over his face with a groan, "I should have…"

"Dude," Mark interrupted, "You did more than anyone else would have done in that situation. She's not your problem anymore. Let it go," he told him.

"Just like you're hoping Addison will let 'Manwhore Mark' go?" Derek smirked, patting his shoulder and walking down the rest of the hallway.

 _Good one, Shep, just ignore the elephant in the room. Shove the feelings down and talk about Mark's inability to woo a woman for anything other than a one night stand.  
_ _Good idea… very healthy._

"This is why I don't try to be supportive," Mark called after him, "You're an ass...ential part of my misery," he finished laughably as he came face to face with Derek's oldest sister Kathleen, in a living room full of children.

"Some things just never change, do they Mark?" she smirked, lifting a little boy with brown hair and green eyes onto her hip.

Derek laughed and shook his head, smacking a hand against Mark's shoulder, "Someone better dig out their long-forgotten filter," he told him before moving past them to greet his aunt.

* * *

Meredith hugged her coat a bit tighter around her waist as she made her way up the stone steps toward a large wooden door.

 _Ellis will never know. She'll never find out.  
_ _You'll go into the house, have dinner, and then leave.  
_ _That's it, you can do it. Get yourself together, Grey._

A shiver shot down her spine and to her numb toes as her fist hovered over the door for just a moment before falling to her side.

 _But it isn't just a house. It's_ _ **the**_ _house… full of almosts and what-ifs and happiness and love and the only type of family you've ever had.  
_ _You'll have dinner at_ _ **that**_ _table. The one you were sitting at, kicking your legs in your little red dress with reindeer antlers on your head when the doorbell rang.  
_ _You'll be with_ _ **them.**_ _The two people in the world who ever showed you what a real family could look like… what if felt like to have parents who loved you._

Tears gathered behind her eyes as she sniffed against the cold and rubbed a gloved hand over her face.

 _But it_ _ **can be**_ … _just a house. It has to be or this will never work.  
_ _You have to do this… you're doing this… you want to… you miss them… you love them.  
_ _Knock on the damn door, Grey._

Drawing in a deep breath, Meredith swallowed and blinked tears away. Lifting her fist to the door, she let it rap against the wood this time. She couldn't help but wish Derek were there in that moment... as much as she hated to admit it, he made her feel safe and comfortable... like maybe things weren't so terrible.

"Meredith," Adele cheered just a moment later as she pulled it open, "Come in, come in, it's freezing out there," she said with a smile, ushering Meredith inside and closing the door behind her.

"It sure is," Meredith breathed, a contented smile falling over her face as she glanced around the entrance and shrugged her coat off her shoulders.

 _Nothing has changed. It looks exactly the same._

"You don't have to knock, dear," the older woman told her softly, "You know that," she said, smiling sadly as she took Meredith's coat from her and hung it on a large hook near the door.

Meredith smiled and nodded in response, "I'll have to remember that next time," she sighed, leaning down to pull off her boots.

 _Next time… you want there to be a next time._

Adele returned her smile, it brightened a bit as she heard Richard curse from the kitchen, "We better make sure he's not hurting himself in there," she laughed, holding out a hand for Meredith.

"He would take any excuse to go back to the hospital," Meredith rolled her eyes knowingly, taking Adele's hand and following her into the kitchen.

 _Her hand is soft… warm and welcoming… just like old times._

"Are you making a mess of things?" Adele questioned Richard tersely as they walked into the kitchen, releasing Meredith's hand to walk over to the stove.

"I am not," Richard said, offended as his wife walked over to him, "Meredith," he smiled contentedly as he turned toward her, smoke billowing from the pot in front of him.

"Hey," she laughed, resting against the island as Adele attempted to stifle the smoke, a bit of a scowl on her face, "Maybe you should stick to surgery, Richard," she told him with a smirk.

He laughed and shook his head, walking over to a cupboard and pulling out three wine glasses, "I might have to agree with you on that one," he told her honestly, "Would you like some wine?"

"I'd love some," Meredith nodded.

 _I'll_ _ **need**_ _some to get through this day._

Richard looked over at her with a smile as he pulled a bottle of wine from the liquor cabinet, "I'm glad you decided to join us. I know it must have been a difficult decision given the circumstances," he said ominously, glancing at her over his glasses as he poured their wine.

Meredith sighed, "It wasn't… an easy decision," she admitted, looking down at her watch as she spun it around her wrist, "I wanted to the moment you asked, but… I just…"

"Ellis doesn't make it easy," he finished for her with a knowing smile as he passed her a glass.

"She doesn't make anything easy," Meredith laughed dryly.

 _You can say that again._

"Well I think we should talk about something else," Adele said with a sigh, turning around abruptly, a watery grin on her face, "We are just happy to have you in the house again."

"I'm happy to be here," Meredith smiled softly, "It feels like home," she murmured.

"It'll always be home," Adele assured her, grabbing her hand and squeezing it lightly before taking a sip of her own wine and turning back to the stove, "Now dinner will be just a bit yet. I'm afraid it'll only be the three of us tonight… my sister and her family were snowed in, or so she says," Adele rolled her eyes.

Richard huffed a laugh, "Do you see how much snow is out there?" he asked her, "She didn't lie to you, Adele," he told her, amused.

"Richard, she's notorious and you know that," Adele told him sternly, swinging around to take another sip of her wine, "Meredith, will you get him out of my kitchen for a while, he's driving me insane," she sighed, glaring at her husband.

"Of course," Meredith laughed, shaking her head a bit as she plucked her wine glass off of the counter.

 _Some things never change._

"Let's head over to my office," Richard offered with a huff, kissing Adele's cheek as he walked past her.

A smile made its way onto Meredith's face as she watched the two of them. She followed Richard to his office wordlessly, allowing her fingers to graze the wallpaper once in awhile, almost as if she were attempting to remember every second the house had given to her.

"You remind me of her," he whispered suddenly as they stood in his office and he watched Meredith retrace every picture.

"Who?" she asked, turning from his framed certificate to look him in the eye.

Richard cleared his throat, "Your mother," he told her, a ghost of a smile on his face. He took his glasses off and placed them on his desk, settling his wine glass next to them.

"I don't know if that's a good thing or…" Meredith laughed a bit, taking a seat in one of the plush chairs just inside the door, tucking her feet under herself.

 _This was a heck of a lot easier when I was six._

"It's a good thing," he smiled at her, moving to the filing cabinet in the corner and pulling out a folder, "You're doing a very good job at the hospital. One day, you'll make a fine surgeon… I can already tell you have your mother's talent," he told her, grabbing his wine and sitting in the chair next to her.

Her chest hitched in a laugh, "For cleaning bedpans and giving sponge baths?"

"Well no," he chuckled, "Ellis wouldn't be caught dead," he told her seriously, "I saw you uhh… suturing a grape the other day and a banana the day before that and an orange…"

Meredith nodded with a smirk, "So my fruit skills impress you?" she laughed again.

"When translated to the human body they will be very impressive," he said, amused as he held the file toward her.

The smile faltered on Meredith's face, "What is this?" she asked, grabbing the manilla folder and setting her wineglass on the ground.

"Take a look," he told her with a soft smile, nodding toward the folder as he took a seat in the chair next to her.

Meredith shot him a confused, uneasy look and set it on her lap, gently pulling back the cover. She swallowed thickly, her breath catching as her eyes fell on the countless photos and artwork of all sizes.

"You kept them," she whispered, surprise lacing her voice, "...all of them," she murmured, picking up a particular piece of work that caught her eye. It was a crayon-drawing of a Christmas tree with presents under it, a fireplace with stockings to the right, and three people-like blobs in front.

Richard shifted in his seat, leaning a bit to take a look at the picture for himself, "Of course I did," he told her, "Do you remember that Christmas?" he asked with a small smile, reaching to pull a picture from underneath the drawing, "You sat in my office, right over there," he told her, pointing toward the opposite corner of the room, near his desk, "...nearly all day while I worked. Adele had gone to see her sister and you insisted on staying home with me. You spent hours looking at this picture and that piece of paper trying to copy down every little detail."

"I remember," Meredith told him, her eyes burning with tears at the memory.

"You know," he said with a hitched laugh as she took the picture from him, "That was the day I thought you might become a surgeon."

Meredith looked up at him, "Really? Why?"

He shook his head softly and smiled at her, tapping his index finger against her hand, "You clutched those crayons for hours… never taking a break... never cramping up… always **so** focused. You'd bite the inside of your cheek and your eyebrows would knit together like this," he demonstrated, "I see that same look on your face nearly every day at the hospital."

Looking back down at the picture of her, Richard, and Adele in front of the tree, Meredith swallowed a lump in her throat.

 _If I didn't know any better, I would say this is just a happy family… but it's not… at least not anymore.  
Only a few days after this photo was taken… this family was torn apart. _

"I… umm… thank you, Richard," Meredith said suddenly, looking up at him with tears in her eyes and sighing heavily.

 _He knows… you don't have to say it… he'll know what you mean.  
F_ _or everything… taking care of me, caring_ _ **about**_ _me, teaching me, fighting for me, dealing with my mother… all of it, everything since the beginning of anything.  
Thank you for loving me._

Richard looked at her, his face softening in a way she hadn't seen in years, "You're welcome, Meredith."

 _Thank you for letting me._

"Alright," Adele's chipper voice came from the doorway, "The two of you can come out of hiding, we're all set in there."

"Perfect, I'm starving," Richard said, smiling over at her, "My stomach may start eating itself if we wait much longer."

Meredith snorted a laugh as he stood up with his wineglass.

 _Still makes the same jokes, too._

She snatched hers from the floor and stood as well, taking the folder with her and noticing the smile in Adele's eyes as she clutched it close.

"It's good to have you home," Adele told her, wrapping an arm around her shoulder as they walked toward the kitchen, passing by the door jamb with height marks etched into it.

 _They're still there. They didn't paint over them_

A smile flickered across Meredith's face as she turned to look at her and after a moment, she finally reached her arm around the older woman's waist, allowing her to pull her closer, "It's good to be home," she whispered tentatively.

 _You said it out loud… it's real… so much for the house being just a house and the dinner being just a dinner and the people being just… people.  
_ _But it's ok… right? Ellis won't find out._

* * *

 _ **I'm back! I hope this chapter was worth the wait and I apologize that it took so long!**_

 _ **There is a lot going on here:  
** Who the hell is Angie and what did she do?  
Why hasn't Amy told Mama Shep about her boyfriend?  
What's happening between Mark and Addison?  
Will Meredith and Derek ever get out of this weird friendship limbo?  
How will Meredith find out about Angie? Will she find out at all?  
_Why did Meredith spend so much time with Adele and Richard as a child?  
 _What will happen when Meredith is at the Shepherd's?  
_ _ **These are just a few questions that may pop into your head. They are absolutely questions that are driving my writing and I assure you, they will be answered... eventually. Until then, what are you curious, upset, happy, or excited about?**_

 _Thank you SO much to those of you who have reviewed one chapter, all chapters, and even thrown another one out there during this long-ish hiatus!  
 **I appreciate you!**_ _  
_


	6. Thanksgiving (Part 2)

**Disclaimer: I do not own any characters associated with Grey's Anatomy.**

 **Read.  
Hopefully, enjoy.  
Review if you'd like. **

* * *

For the second time that day, Meredith found herself parked outside of a large, home-y house. Christmas lights outlined the rooftop and were woven through the evergreens out front. Cars filled the driveway, the sheer amount of them taking her breath away before her eyes landed on Derek's.

 _That's a lot of cars.  
_ _I know they have a big family, but my god.  
_ _If there are this many cars, cars that took_ _ **families**_ _here… do you really want to know how many people are in that house today?_

Meredith plucked her key from the ignition and let her head fall back against the seat, releasing a long breath.

 _Dinner with Adele and Richard was good… it was great, but after hours with them, I'm exhausted.  
_ _What if I can't deal with_ _ **more**_ _family right now?  
_ _Shut-up, Grey, you can do this. Amy will never let you live it down if you don't.  
_ _Mama Shepherd was thrilled when you finally agreed, do it for her too.  
_ _And Derek, do it for Derek because… well… he's Derek._

With another long breath and a sharp nodded, Meredith unbuckled and stepped out of her car. As she walked the distance from her car to the door, she strained her eyes front in an attempt to ignore the numerous cars along the way. Once she reached the door, she felt a sense of deja vu as she paused in front of it and rubbed her hands over her face.

 _You can do this.  
_ _Amelia.  
_ _Carolyn.  
_ _Derek.  
Safe, being with them feels safe. _

"Not **all** of them bite," an amused voice assured her.

"What?" Meredith snapped, nearly jumping out of her skin as she whipped her head around looking for the source. In moments, her eyes fell upon a form lounging on a large wicker swing to her left, "Derek," she sighed, fear and nerves dissipating as she met his eyes and moved toward him.

Derek smiled softly, looking up and over as she moved closer, "I know you've heard stories," he told her softly as she took a seat next to him, "...but they really aren't that bad. It's what siblings do… make each other miserable," he snorted a laugh.

Meredith sighed as she relaxed into the swing, closing her eyes for a moment, "Well I wouldn't know."

"I know," Derek whispered, looking over at her. He reached a hand out and let it fall onto her thigh, rubbing slow, rhythmic circles, "That's ok."

Meredith held his gaze, "Hi," she whispered eventually.

"Hi," he smiled, giving her thigh a gentle squeeze.

"What are you doing out here?"

"Hiding."

"You're… hiding from your family?" she asked, raising her eyebrows, "The same one you told me wasn't that bad."

His chest hitched in a laugh, "Emphasis on **that**."

Meredith rolled her eyes, "Well that's reassuring."

"It's not them," he told her with a sigh, the smile falling off of his face, "At least… not just them. My family is great, I promise, they're just… there are **a lot** of them and they have a lot of questions."

"Questions?" she urged him to explain further, letting her head fall on his shoulder as his gaze drifted across the yard.

Derek nodded, a look she couldn't quite place flashing across his face, "They're just very… nosy. They want to know everything about everything," he huffed.

 _Which includes a sick ex-girlfriend you don't know about and I'm terrified they'll tell you about first.  
_ _Just do it now and you won't have to worry, you idiot.  
_ _No anesthesia… tell her and see how she reacts. You're not in a relationship right now, she should know what she's getting into._

"Look, umm," Derek cleared his throat, shifting to face her a bit more as she lifted her head from his shoulder and looked him in the eye, "There's something you should know…"

"There you are," Amelia said brightly as she popped her head around the corner, "I was just about to flood your phone with a barrage of calls, Mer," she said with a laugh.

It took her a moment to bring her attention from Derek to his sister, "Oh, yeah, I… umm, I was hovering in front of the door and Derek was here..."

 _And you should leave because he was about to tell me something.  
_ _Way to keep up your pattern of interrupting at the worst possible moment, Ames._

"Hmm," Amy hummed, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively, "Needed some one on one time before you meet the boy's family?"

"Amy stop torturing her," Derek said, glaring at his sister as he stood, holding his hand out for Meredith.

 _I guess we'll just wait. She should be fine… they won't say anything… no one knows Mer's anything more than Amy's friend and maybe mine._

Meredith used his hand to pull herself off of the swing and walk toward Amelia, "You promised not to blow up my phone until four. It's only three, so technically, I'm early," Meredith smirked, releasing Derek's hand and walking up to her friend.

"Whatever," Amy snorted, "You know you wanted to bail the second you pulled up."

"I did not."

"Did too."

"I am **not** doing this with you," Meredith snapped, stepping inside after Derek.

"You'll be fine, Mer," Amelia assured her, closing the door behind herself, "I've been making sure Mark keeps his trap shut about anything that may or may not be happening between you two," she promised.

"There's nothing…" Meredith and Derek attempted to deny in unison.

Amelia just rolled her eyes, "I know, I know. 'There's nothing going on.' You're just friends, I get it."

 _Somehow I highly doubt that._

Derek glared at his sister as he took Meredith's coat and placed it alongside his, "Ma has a glass of wine ready for you in the kitchen," he said, his face softening as he made eye contact with Meredith.

"I knew there was a reason I loved your mother," she sighed with a thankful smile, shoving her shoes near the massive pile that crowded the entrance.

 _Ok so maybe it's_ _ **not**_ _healthy to use alcohol as a coping mechanism, but it feels pretty damn good._

Amy swooped in beside her, looping her arm through Meredith's and leading her toward the kitchen, "Most of the aunts and uncles are passed out in the living room and the kids are watching a movie, it's safer in here than it was before," she whispered in her ear.

Meredith smiled at her and pulled her a bit closer, "Thanks," she answered, flashing Derek a nervous smile as he threw one over his shoulder, entering the noisy kitchen.

 _At least I have backup over here. There may be a million of them, but between Derek's smirks, Amelia's jokes, and Mama Shep's supply of booze, this Thanksgiving might just go off without a hitch._

* * *

"So," Kathleen, the oldest Shepherd sister began slowly as she sat with her mother, Meredith, and her siblings at the dining room table, "Ellis Grey still riding your ass, Derek?" she asked him with a laugh.

He looked up at Meredith from his plate full of pie and cleared his throat, "Oh, uhh…"

"God," another sister, Emily, groaned, "I worked with her on **one** case when I had privileges there and…" the younger woman shuddered, rubbing her hands across her growing stomach, "...she's a piece of work, that's for sure."

"So are you," her mother snorted a laugh as she raised her eyebrows over her coffee mug, taking a long sip.

"Mom," Emily gasped, smacking her arm lightly.

Derek shrugged and smirked at his sister, "She's not wrong."

 _Good, that's good, divert the attention_ _ **away**_ _from Meredith's mother._

"You know, I've heard some talk about Ellis retiring," Nancy offered abruptly.

Meredith choked a laugh, "Yeah, and a pig just flew by the house," she muttered, nearly inaudible, but just loud enough for Amelia to hear her.

 _The only way she's leaving that hospital is in a body bag._

Kathleen rolled her eyes, "Why is that so funny?" she asked sharply, "What in the world would **you** know about Ellis Grey?" she scoffed.

Despite the icy glare Derek was shooting his sister and the hard stare Amy had trained on her, Kathleen seemed to be oblivious.

Amelia's eyes darted from Meredith to Derek, "Em, did you… umm… did you find out the sex of the baby yet?" she asked her sister with a smile.

Emily looked at her as if she'd grown another head, "We're not finding out," she said sharply, rolling her eyes, "I've only told you that a million times, Amelia."

"Cut her some slack," Derek said forcefully, "...she just got done busting her ass in med school, don't expect her to remember everything you've ever said to her, you talk **a lot** ," he chuckled, taking a pointed bite of pie.

"Oh come on," Nancy groaned, "... everyone else in this family has gone through med school, she's nothing special, Derek."

"Wow, thanks Nance, that feels good," Amelia told her sister, forcing a sarcastic smirk onto her face before downing her wine.

"She does have a point, you know," Kathleen stated analytically, "All of us here know exactly what you're going through. We've done it ourselves **and** managed to keep up with the family.

Emily hummed in agreement and Meredith couldn't help but think she sounded just like Derek.

 _Who did they get that from?  
_ _Has Carolyn ever done that?  
_ _Amelia does it, but not very often, is it something_ _ **all**_ _Shepherd's do?_

Amelia rolled her eyes, "Every family needs a black sheep," she muttered dryly, a smirk making its way onto her face as she sunk into her chair.

"You're not a black sheep," Meredith and Derek told her in unison, smiling at each other quickly.

Nancy looked up from her plate, confusion flanking her face as she looked from Amelia to Meredith and finally to Derek.

 _They have an odd little… dynamic going on._

"Hi, I'm Gracie Johnson," a little girl grinned, coming to a halt just in front of Meredith, "Who are you?"

Meredith swallowed her bite of pie quickly, her eyes darting over to Amelia's for a second, "Hi, Gracie," she smiled softly, "I'm Meredith Grey."

"Nice to meet you, Meredith. You're very pretty," the little girl told her shyly, swinging back and forth a bit, "Why are you here?' she asked curiously.

"Grace," Kathleen chided, "Be nice," she reminded her daughter with a pointed look.

"It's ok," Meredith smiled reassuringly, "I'm uhh… I'm Amy's friend."

"Oh!" Gracie gasped, "Are you Uncle Derek's friend too?"

"She is," Derek interrupted with a smirk and a wink.

Meredith laughed, "I am," she said, rolling her eyes.

"Well, Uncle Derek thinks you're pretty too," Gracie smirked deviously, looking over at her uncle.

He nearly choked as he took a sip of coffee, "Gracie," he grunted, shooting her a glare.

"Does he?" Meredith asked with a small smile, her eyes darting to Derek only for a moment before returning to the little girl's.

 _He talked to his niece about you. He told her he thinks you're pretty.  
_ _But, you're just friends, nothing more, just… friends._

The redhead shrugged and looked back at Meredith, "Yeah, It's true," she whispered loudly, leaning a bit closer to Meredith, "Are you his girlfriend?" she asked sweetly.

"Oh, I umm… I'm not," Meredith laughed nervously, looking at Amelia with wide eyes as her reclined with a knowing smirk.

 _Geez, how old is this kid?  
_ _Did one of the wolves train her to ask terrifying questions?_

"Gracie, are you trying to steal my best friend?" Amelia accused playfully as she took a bite of her pie.

"No, I am not," Gracie gasped, "That would be very mean, it's not nice to steal," she told her aunt seriously.

Nancy rolled her eyes, Emily tried to stifle a laugh, and Kathleen glared at her youngest sister before looking at her daughter, "You're right, stealing is very bad and Aunt Amy is sorry she said that."

Amelia rolled her eyes at her sisters and smirked at Meredith and Derek, "Right, it's **not** nice to steal best friends," she said, giving Derek a pointed look.

 _But your Uncle Derek's doing it anyway._

"Mer'dith, why aren't you with **your** family?" the little girl asked her with wide, innocent eyes.

"Well… I..." Meredith stuttered a bit, swallowing thickly as she made eye contact with Derek who offered her a soft smile, "They're busy," she decided.

"Oh," Gracie's face fell into a frown, "Why?"

"Gracie, sweetie," Derek interrupted quietly, "I think that's enough questions for now."

Kathleen scoffed slightly at her brother, "There is no harm in asking questions, Derek… especially about a mysterious woman who's shown up..."

"Oh shush, Kath," Carolyn interjected, "Meredith is not some mysterious woman, she is Amelia's friend and our guest," she chided, rubbing Meredith's shoulder from her seat next to her.

A light blush made its way onto Grace's face as her eyes darted to her uncle, "Sorry," she murmured, turning back to Meredith, "...sometimes my mommy and daddy are busy too and I stay with Grammy."

Meredith sighed a bit but attempted to smile at the little girl, "Well your Grammy's house is very home-y, It's nice spending time here."

"I think so too," she nodded, smiling over at her grandma, "My mommy and daddy are doctors," Gracie informed her proudly.

"Really?" Meredith grinned, fiddling with her coffee mug, "My mom's a doctor too, she's Uncle Derek's boss," she whispered to Gracie.

 _If you wanted to keep the Shepherd family from knowing who your mother is, telling a little girl is probably the_ _ **worst**_ _way to do that.  
Way to go, Grey._

Gracie drew in a sharp breath and her eyes widened as she looked over at her uncle, "You work for her mommy?"

Derek chuckled and made eye contact with Meredith, "I do," he said softly.

"Ellis Grey has a daughter?" Nancy asked in surprise, " **You're** Ellis Grey's daughter?"

"Oh my god," Kathleen muttered.

Emily released a breathless laugh, "Oh come on, really?"

"Oh… I... yup," Meredith stuttered a bit nervously as the Shepherd sisters swooped in.

"That's cool," Gracie grinned, "Uncle Derek told me that he's **your** boss and that's why you're not his girlfriend."

"Gracie, that is not what I said," he laughed nervously, "Why don't you go play," he suggested softly.

Amelia laughed at him, "You need to watch your mouth around Miss Chatterbox over here," she snorted.

"I think playing is a good idea," Carolyn said, looking at her granddaughter pointedly.

Gracie rolled her eyes and muttered a goodbye before stalking out of the room.

Nancy continued to eye Meredith sharply, "So your mommy got you a job at her hospital?" she asked raising her eyebrows.

"... **and** you're shacking up with a resident. She must **love** that," Emily snorted.

"We are **not** 'shacking up', Emily," Derek snapped with a glare.

Kathleen laughed next to him, "Right… ok. That's why you keep having eye sex over the…"

"Shut up!" Amy snapped, standing up suddenly, nearly knocking her chair to the ground as she did.

Carolyn sighed and shared a weary look with Meredith, "Everyone simmer down. Kathleen…"

"No! No one is going to simmer down," Amelia seethed, "You can tease me and mock me and call me a screw up all you want…"

"Amelia, you're being…"

"Oh shut it, Nance, you know exactly what the three of you are doing. You can mess with me all you want, I'm your little sister it's what you do, but for the love of God back off of Meredith, will you?" Amelia breathed.

"We're just trying to…"

"She's right, Kath," Derek interjected sternly, "It's Thanksgiving, can you all at least try to be nice?"

"Ok," Emily rolled her eyes, shoving away from the table, "I'm gonna go check on my kids."

"That's a good idea," Carolyn smiled, "Why don't you **all** go do that," she suggested, eyeing Kathleen and Nancy.

"Well," Meredith breathed as they left, "That was…"

"Horrible?" Amy offered.

"Torturous?" Derek snorted a laugh.

Meredith rolled her eyes, "I was going to say interesting, but that works too," she nodded with a laugh.

"I'm sorry dear," Carolyn told her softly, "They mean well but it… doesn't always come across that way. Believe it or not, that was one of the better sibling encounters of the year," she said with a wink, moving out of her chair and gathering a few dishes.

Meredith raised her eyebrows toward Derek and then Amelia before finishing off her coffee.

 _This whole sibling thing is… odd.  
_ _Is this normal? Are siblings always this blunt and invasive?_

* * *

"So, when were you planning on telling me?" Derek's mother inquired as her son helped her with the dishes. His previous plan to arrive on time and forgo the dishwashing chore had been blatantly disregarded by his mother's insistence.

Derek glanced over at her, a confused look painted on his face, "About what?"

Carolyn gave him a pointed look, "You know," she sighed, "I'm not as old and absent minded as you think I am," she told him gently.

"Ma, I don't think you're…"

"Shush," she said, swatting at him with a towel before drying another dish, "I'm quite fond of that girl… Meredith. She's… I can tell she's been through a lot and it makes me happy to know that two of my children are taking such good care of her."

"Meredith doesn't need anyone to take care of her mom, she's a **very** strong-willed person," Derek chuckled, shaking his head and eyeing his mother.

 _She knows… she can tell I have feelings for Meredith.  
_ _How does she do that?_

"That doesn't mean she doesn't need people," she told him sharply, "Everyone needs someone… Lord knows if Amelia didn't have her…" Carolyn trailed off with an abrupt shake of her head before smiling at her son, "She's good for you… she makes you smile in a way that I haven't seen since you were a little boy."

Derek looked over at his mom and then back into the sudsy abyss his hands were submerged in, scrubbing at a plate, "Meredith is… she makes me happy… being near her makes me happy. She's funny and sarcastic… one of the most intelligent people I've ever met."

Carolyn smiled at him brightly, taking a clean dish, "So what's the hold up?" she asked abruptly.

"What?" Derek choked on a laugh.

"Why aren't the two of you dating yet? Why did Amelia introduce her as her best friend and a friend of yours?"

"Because… she's… and I'm," Derek stuttered, sighing and closing his eyes as he braced himself over the sink, "It's complicated," he conceded.

His mother snorted, "Well, then uncomplicate it."

"Uncomplicate it?" Derek asked her in disbelief.

"Yes," she nodded, "Make it simple… leave no room for complication."

"And how the hell am I supposed to do that?" Derek asked, his voice holding a bit of an edge as he tensed and stood up straight, drying his hands on a towel and leaning against the sink, "I'm her boss, her mother's my boss, and…"

"Those are excuses," she told him, looking him in the eye, "Don't listen to them."

"They aren't **my** excuses," Derek argued, a bit exasperated as he huffed.

Carolyn stood still, looking over her son for a moment, "It's about **her** , isn't it? You're scared."

Derek snorted and rolled his eyes, "I'm not scared," he grunted.

"You are," his mother determined seriously, "That relationship was taxing from start to finish and you're afraid it'll happen again, but Derek…"

"Stop," he snapped, "Just stop it, I don't want to talk about this. Not here, not now… not at Thanksgiving with Meredith in the other room… please, Mom," he begged.

"She doesn't know," his mother gasped, "Derek Christopher Shepherd, if you have intentions to date that girl you need to tell her immediately. Meredith deserves to know," she told him angrily.

"Meredith needs to know what?" Meredith's curious voice came from behind them.

 _What was that earlier about everything going off without a hitch? Yeah... too good to be true.  
_ _Here it is… I knew it… I just knew that nothing would go the way it should. Nothing never does, why would Derek be any different?_

Derek whipped toward her, his wide eyes meeting her stern and suddenly dull ones as she took a few steps closer.

 _Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.  
_ _Say something… anything… don't just stand here like an idiot._

"I… umm… nothing we were just…" he stammered.

"Bullshit," Meredith countered easily, stopping just a couple feet in front of them, "I'm sorry, Carolyn," she told the older woman with a glance, "But I…" she shook her head with a huff and rubbed her hands over her face and through her hair before looking at Derek again, "Don't lie to me… you're supposed to be my friend… you know that I…"

"Meredith," he interrupted softly, a tentative smile on his face, "You are my friend."

"Then tell me, what is it? What's wrong?"

Derek sighed and stepped a bit closer, placing a hand on her arm as he stopped in front of her. Meredith tensed and took a step back, "Meredith," he nearly pleaded, taking one step toward her and placing his arm on the same spot, "It's nothing terrible… it's just."

 _Not right now, I do not want to do this right now. She deserves to know, she does, but this isn't something I want to talk about in front of my mother… and nearly my entire family._

"Well this is cozy," a shrill voice came from the hallway, all heads snapping toward it as heeled boots clicked on the hardwood floor, "Mom, it's good to see you again."

Meredith looked at the woman the voice belonged to, she obviously wasn't a Shepherd. Her hair was a strawberry blonde, nearly red, her eyes a deep, intense hazel, and she was barely an inch taller than her even in the heels, "Mom?" Meredith questioned sharply.

 _Mom? Why did she just call Carolyn 'Mom'?_

Shifting her gaze to Carolyn quickly, Meredith noted her pursed lips, the wrinkles of concern carved into her forehead, and something she could have sworn looked like fear and sympathy in her eyes.

 _Say something… one of them should say something or do something.  
_ _Move, dammit, tell me who this is and why she's here._

An uncomfortable, tortured grunt escaped Derek's lips as if he were about to say something and as Meredith's gaze was drawn to him, she noted an expression erely similar to his mother's.

The woman laughed, "Well don't just stand there, Der-Bear," she told him playfully, "Come give your girl a hug, she's missed you," the woman smiled.

It was then that Derek's eyes shifted to Meredith's frantically, his mind reeling, his breath short, his chest tight, and his hands clammy as one remained clutching her arm.

 _She's here… in the house. How did she get in here?_

"I thought you were..." Carolyn trailed off with a puzzled look on her face as her attention shifted between Derek and the woman, "Derek… did you know she was out?"

With a hard swallow, Derek nodded sharply, his eyes still boring into those of the woman in front of them, "What are you doing here?" he asked, his voice rough.

"Oh don't be silly," the woman laughed again, "I'm here to celebrate Thanksgiving with the family. It's been so long, it's good to be back, right babe?" she said, her eyes shifting to Derek's with an unmistakable force underneath her bright smile.

"Derek?" Meredith asked, searching his eyes for any hint of what may be happening before looking over at them woman in front of them.

 _Babe? She called him babe.  
_ _Who is she? His girlfriend? His wife?  
_ _Derek doesn't seem like the type of guy to hide that kind of thing… but then again, you're just friends and… do you really even know him?_

"I'm so sorry," he spat out quickly, "I wanted to tell you, I was going to tell you but I…"

"Oh," the girl swallowed thickly, tears gathering in her eyes, "So **this** is my replacement?" she asked, gesturing toward Meredith.

"No, Angie," Derek said carefully, his voice growing stronger, "You and I… we aren't together anymore and we haven't been for a long time," he said, letting his hand fall from Meredith's arm.

As if a switch had been flipped, Angie's face began to pinken and she sucked in a sharp breath, "No," she whimpered, looking up at him with wounded eyes, "No, you… I didn't let you break up with me. I told you no, we're still together."

Meredith looked at Derek and then Carolyn and then Angie, obviously confused and unsure of what to do or say.

 _Run. You should run. Find Amy, take her with you and get out.  
_ _Why would he be so flirty and open and spend countless nights after work quizzing you and watching movies and eating pizza and drinking beer?  
_ _He never said anything… was this what he would have explained earlier if Amelia hadn't interrupted?  
You should definitely run, this is getting too complicated. _

"Angie, I know this is hard for you," Derek began, forcing his tone to soften, "You've been through a lot lately and I'm sorry," he said honestly, tilting his head as he smiled sadly at her, "I'm sorry that you're sick and…"

"I am **not** sick," Angie sputtered sadly, inching closer to them.

"Ok," he said slowly, reaching an arm behind himself to grab Meredith reassuringly, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

 _Do not say anything stupid.  
_ _You have to get her out, if she gets too upset she'll lash out._

Meredith stood behind Derek with wide eyes, attempting to piece together the situation, "What's going on, Derek?" she whispered nervously to his back, sending a glance toward Carolyn.

The older woman sighed, and looked at Meredith apologetically as she moved slowly, reaching for the phone in her back pocket.

"No," Angie cried, her head snapping toward Carolyn as she caught the movement out og the corner of her eye, "Don't call anyone on me," she told her, shifting away from Derek a bit and closer to his mother, "Please, please don't," she begged, tears streaming down her face.

"Hey," Derek said softly, "It's ok… no one is calling anyone, not yet… it's ok," he attempted to assure her, taking a slow step closer with a soft smile on his face.

"Promise?" she asked with a sob, wrapping her arms around herself.

Derek nodded, shoving his hands in his pockets with a sigh, "Why don't you and I talk?"

Angie looked over at him, her eyes brimming with tearful vulnerability as she did, "About what?" she demanded sadly.

"We have some things to clear up," he told her slowly, "Why don't we take a step outside for a minute?"

"What is there to clear up?" she snapped, hugging herself tightly, "I **love** you," she seethed, angry tears falling slowly down her cheeks.

With a shake of his head, he smiled sadly, "I don't think you do," he whispered, clearing his throat, "I think you love the idea of me… but you don't love me."

"No," she shouted in exasperation, "I know I screwed up, but I love you," she cried, "I really, really…"

"Angie," he interrupted sharply, "You and I were only together for a couple months and I broke up with you because it didn't work out… because I don't feel the same way about you and you deserve someone who does."

His words fueled her anger and her breath hitched, "You don't love me?" she asked, her brows knit is desperation as her chin quivered.

"I don't, I'm sorry," Derek told her honestly.

Their raised voices had drawn the attention of the rest of the family and they whispered to each other as they clustered at the doorways. No one was willing to risk intervening, so they watched carefully. Amy's gaze switched from Derek to Meredith as she attempted to figure out what might be going through her friend's head.

"Why not?" Angie snapped, "Why don't you love me?" she asked him miserably.

"You and I… we weren't good together," he told her carefully, shuffling nervously on his feet, "I couldn't give you what you wanted you... you should... be with someone who can."

"But you did," she told him, moving closer, "I wanted **you** ," she whimpered, "I want you."

Derek sighed and shook his head, taking a step back as he did, nearly bumping into Meredith, "You don't want me, you want who you think I am," he told her, smiling sadly once more as he reached behind him, searching for Meredith's arm and squeezing it.

"You **are** who I think you are," she demanded.

"I'm not," he told her sternly, "You can ask anyone in this room and they'll tell you that I'm not," he said, looking around at his family and swallowing harshly.

"Who do **you** think he is?" Angie asked, jabbing a finger past his shoulder and at Meredith.

"Oh," she squeaked, glancing down at Derek's hand on her arm before looking the woman in the eye, "I… umm," Meredith stuttered.

"You don't have to answer that," Derek told her quickly, moving to stand next to her, "She doesn't have to answer that," he repeated to Angie.

"Well how the hell am I supposed to…"

"He's kind," Meredith interrupted hesitantly.

 _ **What**_ _are you doing? You were supposed to run away, make yourself scarce._

She swallowed thickly and kept talking, "Derek… he's smart, in an annoyingly cocky way but he still cheats on crossword puzzles because he doesn't like to be wrong and he…"

"Meredith, you don't have to..." Derek began.

 _She's going to, no matter what you say, she won't back down. That's something you like about her._

"He's good with kids," she ignored him, "His nieces and nephews… he talks about them all the time and his sisters drive him insane but he loves them more than anything. His family is important to him and he tries not to let work get in the way of that but sometimes he fails. He's not perfect, he's **far** from perfect," she laughed dryly, "because he lies and keeps secrets," Meredith continued, shooting him a pointed look, "... and he's obsessed with the Clash and he leaves dishes next to the sink instead of **in** it," she rolled her eyes, "but I haven't known him for that long and I don't know much about him so you should ask someone else," she finished sternly, looking Angie in the eye.

Angie's face screwed in confusion as she ran her hand through her hair and looked between Meredith and Derek before making eye contact with Carolyn, "I thought you wanted to be a big, fancy neurosurgeon?"

"I do," Derek nodded slowly, unsure of what she meant.

"But... you, if you're spending so much time here how can you do that?" she asked, a bit exasperated, "Do you really care about your family **that** much more than your future. The surgery, the money, the..."

"He does," Amelia interjected softly from her place by the door.

"Ms. Roads?" a stern voice echoed through the kitchen as two police officers made their way through a huddle of Shepherds, "Ms. Roads, you're violating your agreement, we need you to come with us," they told her, walking closer.

Her eyes widened in shock and fear, "You promised," she spat at Derek, tears welling in her eyes again, "You… promised me you…" she whimpered as one of the officers grabbed her arm gently.

"I'm sorry," Derek told her sadly.

"No!" she screamed, "No, don't let them take me," she sobbed, looking at Carolyn desperately, "Please," she cried as the officers lead her out of the house.

For a moment, no one moved or said a word as they heard Angie's cries grow quieter.

"She was the 'something', wasn't she?" Meredith asked him, her voice cracking a bit as tears gathered in her eyes, "Earlier, you said you wanted to tell me about something and she was the something, right?"

Derek turned around to face her, "Yes," he told her quietly, rubbing his hand down her arm and catching hers, "Meredith, I'm so sorry."

With a sniff and a sharp shake of her head, Meredith took step back, "You don't have to be sorry," she said, "We're just friends so… you don't have to be sorry," she muttered again, "I'm gonna, umm… get some fresh air," she stammered, moving around him quickly, pushing past Mark and a couple of his sisters.

 _Out. Get out. Don't pass go. Don't collect $200 dollars. Just, get out._

"Wait... Meredith, let me explain," he called out and took a step forward to go after her but Amy's arm stopped him.

Amelia looked her brother in the eye, "Stay... you can talk to her later, but... not right now," she said forcefully.

"How do you always manage to make **every** holiday about you?" his sister Emily quipped with a laugh, rubbing a hand across her swollen stomach.

With a heavy sigh, Derek ran his hands through his hair, watching as Amelia bolted off after Meredith, "Em," he said warningly, glaring at her.

"Don't you have a munchkin to chase after?" Mark snorted to his sister, moving toward Derek, "Look, I'm sorry, I know she didn't want the police called, but I…"

"No, I… thank you," Derek released a breath, "It's better this way."

"Alright," Carolyn called, handing Derek a glass of water, "Everyone clear out, take a breather, and head back into the kitchen in a half hour for some drinks," she announced.

"Thanks," Derek murmured, taking the glass from her hand various members of his family murmured their responses to his mother and whispered to each other as they left the room.

 _So much for telling Meredith yourself… good one, Shep.  
_ _Why was it again that you and Amy thought having her over for Thanksgiving would go over well?  
_ _Between the meddling sisters and crazy ex-girlfriend, it would be a miracle if all hopes of anything more than a friendship with her were just thrown out the window._

* * *

 **This chapter ran pretty long, I hope it kept your attention!  
There was so much I felt needed to be included and I found it hard to pick and choose what to write and what to leave out (hence the long gap between updates). Anyway, it's a pretty packed one, are you ready to find out what this means for the future of Meredith and Derek's relationship (or lack thereof)?**

 _As always, **Thank You** so much for all of your feedback. I really do appreciate the time people take to respond to this story. Reading your reviews makes my day, I hope this chapter makes you just as excited. _

**Happy Holidays!**


	7. Thanksgiving (Part 3)

_**Chapter 7: Thanksgiving Part 3**_

 _ **Disclaimer: I do not own any characters or plot points affiliated with Grey's Anatomy.**_

 **Read.**  
 **Hopefully, enjoy.**  
 **Review if you'd like.**

* * *

A knot settled in Meredith's throat. She had darted from the Shepherd kitchen, through the main hall, and out the front door but as her feet hit the wooden patio and the door clicked shut behind her she froze. Her mind reeled as she attempted to grapple with the cascade of emotions she was experiencing.

 _We're just friends. This means nothing. Relax_ , she thought to herself, her feet shuffling across the deck as she raced toward the corner. Her eyes met the familiar wooden swing and she took a deep breath.

 _There's something you should know..._ Derek had begun to say just hours ago before Amelia interrupted them. She realized that he had wanted to tell her, he was going to but had been robbed of the chance to… in a sense.

Meredith rolled her eyes to herself as she took a seat on the swing and pushed off from the deck. She couldn't leave. While every instinct within her screamed at her to run and never turn back, something was contradicting it. Something she couldn't quite pinpoint. After all, what reason did she have to be upset or angry or hurt? In moments all of that faded, leaving only a thick residue of confusion behind.

The swing's movement lulled her further into this realization. By the time she heard the door click open to her left, her breathing was even, no longer urgent.

"You're here," Amy whispered, surprise evident in her voice as she closed the door behind herself.

Meredith turned her head toward her friend slowly, a soft smile playing her lips, "I'm here," she murmured, slowing the swing enough for her to hop on, blanket in hand.

 _I have no clue why… but I am._

"It's chilly," Amy offered an explanation for the blanket, "and Mom was adamant neither of us catches a cold". She watched as Meredith's smile widened just a bit, "I have to say, I'm a bit disappointed you didn't run for the hills," she snorted a laugh, "I may or may not have had money on it."

 _Oh, I absolutely bet Mark **loads** that Mer would run for the hills._

"Sorry," Meredith smirked, huffing a laugh as she adjusted underneath the blanket to face her friend, "I wanted to run," she conceded softly, "but I'm tired of it… the running, and for some reason, I don't feel the need to run from here."

Amy looked over at her quizzically, "You don't want to run from here? The nut house?" she asked humorously, "I want to run and I grew up here."

 _We were definitely just inside two different realities. Come on, Mer._

A genuine laugh rumbled from Meredith's chest, "See I don't understand that because I think you're pretty lucky to be surrounded by so many people who care so much about you. They may not show it in the way you want them to and they may be downright insane but from what I've seen it comes from a generally decent place," she offered.

 _I'm probably going to regret saying that. Those Shepherd sisters give **everyone** a run for their money. But that's family… right?_

"Yeah, I guess," Amy rolled her eyes. The two spent a couple minutes gliding back and forth in silence before she spoke up again, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you," her voice cut through the silence softly.

Meredith sighed and glanced toward her friend, "It wasn't your story to tell."

"But I'm your best friend," Amy urged her, "and I'm supposed to look out for you. I know that as sorry as I am, Derek feels worse".

"But you shouldn't. Neither should he," Meredith groaned, rubbing her hands across her face, "It wasn't fair of me to react the way I did. I would have liked to know about the situation but there are things from my past neither of you knows about. It's unfair of me to expect to know every little detail about his life. Especially when I refuse to let him in."

 _Like a true, emotionally stunted Grey._

A look of confusion crossed Amy's face and she looked Meredith up and down, forehead scrunched, "When the hell did you start thinking like… like a real adult? Maybe the real Meredith did run away."

Is this good or bad? Will I have to hug her? Down a bottle of tequila with her?

Who knows. Hopefully the latter.

"Shut up," Meredith laughed, rolling her eyes.

"I'm serious," Amy chuckled, "Did going to Richard and Adele's fuck you up that much?"

 _Oh to be a fly on the wall._

Meredith shook her head, a smile still playing on her lips as she began picking at the blanket, "No," she defended with a snort, "being with them just got me thinking, you know… of what life could have been like if certain people had been more understanding or hadn't overreacted, or had just accepted that making mistakes is a completely human thing," a slow puff of air fell from her lips and her eyes darted between Amy and the blanket, "I think that's why I like your mom so much - because despite any mistakes her kids make, she's there and she loves you just the same."

 _Much more than you can say for Ellis, huh Grey?_

Amy nodded, a soft, nearly uncharacteristic smile floated across her face, "She still loves me as much as she did when I was little and I'm the biggest fuck-up of us all," she laughed dryly.

"Which is why you should tell her about Kyle," Meredith teased with a grin, "she's heard worse from you," she jeered, earning a smack from Amy.

"You're not supposed to agree with me," she shrieked with a laugh.

"What do you want me to say?" Meredith giggled, "being fuck-ups is our biggest similarity."

"You can shut up now," Amy mocked with a faux sweetness to her voice.

* * *

Meanwhile, Derek sat slouched at the kitchen table, spinning a bottle of beer between his hands, "I tried to tell her **twice** ," he bargained.

 _But it seems the universe has other plans. Plans that involve Meredith and I being nowhere near a relationship anytime soon._

"Dude, chill out," Mark told him, sitting across the table with his eyebrows raised, "you don't have to convince me," he assured his friend.

Derek bit his lip harshly and shook his head, running a hand through his hair, "Two times… I tried. I didn't want to, but I was going to because she deserved to know. How is there any chance that she'll agree to go out with me now? After all of this? After I lied to her and Angie popped up out of nowhere?"

"Meredith knows you, I'm sure she'll understand. And you never lied to her," Mark told him seriously, "You just… didn't tell her every little sordid detail about your past," he shrugged.

"It's called lying by omission, Mark," Derek grunted, taking a swig of his beer and licking his lips.

Mark's brow creased is confusion and he asked, "Did you not hear one word of what she said about you? Grey defended your ass, man… and she was right, about all of it. She knows you, she knows you're a good person."

"Good people make stupid mistakes all the time," Derek shot back, "Look at Amy, she's my sister and I love her but she's made some pretty shitty decisions and burned some strong bridges, Mark."

"But dude look at her," Mark urged him, exasperated, "she's happier than she's ever been. Some of those bridges deserved to be burnt man and you know it."

"He's right," Carolyn interjected as she waltzed back into the kitchen and placed empty glasses in the sink, "Things are not as black and white as you make them out to be, dear," she sighed, folding a kitchen towel and looking toward him, "and Meredith knows that. She doesn't expect you to be perfect."

"How do you know that?" he asked her, disbelief in his voice, "Angie saw that I was good but she still expected me to fit what she thought I was perfect, one hundred percent of the time."

Carolyn huffed a laugh, "Don't compare Meredith to Angie. They are far from being similar," she told him pointedly, making her way toward the boys, "give Meredith the benefit of the doubt. She deserves it."

"What does that mean?" he asked her with a snort, "What am I supposed to tell her? How can we be anything more than friends now?"

"Derek Shepherd, you are a very smart man," his mother told him, crossing her arms, "but right now you're being an idiot," she informed him, much to Mark's amusement, "simply tell her the truth. You'll never know exactly how she'll react until you give her the opportunity to."

Derek raised his eyebrows and his head snapped back a bit, "I don't know whether to be offended or say thank you," he chuckled warily, spinning his empty beer bottle again.

 _Both, dude, definitely both._

His mother smirked and shook her head, leaning forward a bit, "Just say thank you," she told him with a kiss to the top of his head, "and don't ruin my table or you're buying me a new one," she reprimanded, snatching his empty beer bottle.

"I should go talk to her, wherever she is," Derek sighed, tapping his fingers against the table.

 _Probably as far away as possible at this point._

"You won't have to go far," a voice informed him, entering the room.

In a moment, he sat up, straight as a board, "Meredith… you're back," he breathed.

"I never left," she said, leaning against the doorframe, "Can we go somewhere and talk? It seems you have some explaining to do."

"Yeah… yes," he stuttered quickly, earning an eye roll from Mark.

 _Never knew it was possible to feel so relieved and utterly terrified at the same time._

"Your old room is empty," Carolyn offered as she tossed Derek's beer bottle into the recycling.

* * *

"Wow," Meredith gaped, "so many things make sense now," she said teasingly with amusement lacing her voice as she made her way around Derek's childhood bedroom, "I definitely assumed you were a giant geek, you know your movie choices, the comic book and star wars references, but..." she shook her head and met his gaze with a smile.

Derek chuckled as he sat at the edge of the bottom bunk, his lips melting into a slightly embarrassed smile as their eyes met, "Well, you know I was… a very… unpopular teen," he winced, "to put it nicely."

 _Because telling the girl I like I was thrown in a dumpster and shoved in a locker is **not** high on my to-do list._

"Really?" she smirked, moving toward him, "Never would have guessed," she retorted snarkily, taking a seat next to him.

He gave her shoulder a nudge with his, "Hey, it's rough being a scrawny kid with raging acne and an afro who plays the trombone."

"I'm sure it is," she laughed.

 _Pictures. I **need** to see pictures of young Derek._

Derek sighed heavily, running his hands through his hair before turning his body, one leg folded under himself on the bed to look her in the eye, "I want you to know that I had every intention of telling you about Angie."

"Eventually," she added for him, fiddling with the watch around her wrist.

"Eventually," he conceded, "I just…"

"I don't want excuses," she said abruptly, looking him in the eye sternly, "Amy told me that Angie had been reaching out to you for a while now. You were struggling with it and you didn't tell me. We're friends and if there's something going on that's currently affecting you I don't think it's wrong for me to assume you'll tell me. I want an explanation. I don't want your excuses," she told him, moving to mirror his position.

 _How can a man look **more** attractive when he feels guilty?_

Nodding slowly, he lifted his gaze from his lap to meet hers. After a long pause and deep, contemplative breath, he did just as she'd asked. He explained the situation between himself and Angie from beginning to end, giving her more details than she would have ever asked for. As he talked, she listened with eye contact and clarifying questions and kindness but never judgment.

"So when she showed up at the house today, I was afraid she would hurt herself or someone else," Derek told her.

They'd shifted on the small bed, lying lengthwise, facing each other as they lay propped on an elbow with their heads supported by a hand.

"Poor Angie," Meredith breathed, shifting to her back, her head on his pillow, turned to continue eye contact, "I can't imagine it's been easy for her."

Derek hummed in agreement, "So that's it," he shrugged, "...the whole story."

"Promise?"

"Promise," he smiled softly, placing his free hand on her arm, "Are you gonna tell me the story between you and the Webbers?"

Meredith scrunched her nose and shook her head with a smile playing on her lips, "That's a story for a different day."

"Come on," he urged her with a smirk, nudging her arm with his hand, "Tell me," he whispered, rubbing the length of her arm, squeezing her shoulder, then grasping her hand lightly.

 _She looks cute when she does that thing with her nose._

"No," she grunted a laugh, a yawn escaping as she did.

Derek rolled his eyes, "Fine, but you're telling me eventually."

"We'll see," Meredith shrugged, a glint of mischief in her eye as she did.

He shook his head, a smirk playing on his face, "Do you forgive me?" he asked, the smile falling from his face.

"I do," she told him seriously, squeezing his hand, "I don't like that you kept this from me, but I still like you."

"Like or like like?" he grinned, his eyebrows bouncing suggestively.

"What are you twelve?" she snorted a laugh and rolled her eyes.

Derek hummed a chuckle, "Maybe I am," he whispered, licking his lips as his eyes darted from her eyes to her lips.

 _Twelve-year-old Derek would die if a girl were in his bed. Let alone with him._

Meredith ran her thumb over his knuckle and released a soft breath, finding it hard to keep her eyes trained on his sparkly blue ones. She watched as his tongue darted across his lips, sliding over their surface, leaving an enticing glimmer behind, "That would be very... inappropriate, Dr. Shepherd," she chided softly.

 _Meredith Grey, stop the flirting. Those are the lips of **a friend**._

He said nothing as a smirk spread across his face and his eyes darted to hers for split second. Before she knew it his lips were locked with hers and he released her hand to reach and run his fingers through her hair.

Derek felt her smile against his lips as she shifted closer, roaming a hand across his side, under the hem of his shirt, and up his chest, "Just friends?" he chuckled breathlessly against her lips.

Oh _, the irony._

"Shut-up," she whispered.

"Does this mean?" he breathed again.

"No."

"Want me... to stop?" he questioned between kisses.

Meredith grunted and pulled even closer, "No."

 _Dammit, Meredith, yes, yes you do._

But no… you really don't.

Derek grinned, then kissed her harder, rolling over, propping himself on his forearms and threading his hands throughout her hair.

"Hey, kids," Amy called loudly, causing them both to jump before clapping her hands together sassily, "...friends don't suck face. Knock it off and come get drunk with me," she demanded.

Derek's head whipped toward his sister, "Go away, Amy," he laughed, pulling a pillow from behind Meredith's head and chucking it toward her.

Meredith laughed as her friend dodged the shot and then turned her head to Derek, "I wanna get drunk," she told him seriously, pulling both of her hands to his face and mashing her lips against his twice before crawling out from under him.

"Ha, your girlfriend likes me more," Amy stuck her tongue out at Derek before jumping out of the room.

"We're not…" Meredith and Derek began simultaneously.

"Dating," Amy mimicked, rolling her eyes, "just two friends sucking face and feeling each other up. Totally normal," she finished loudly.

"Shh," Meredith laughed, following her out the door but not before throwing Derek one last smirk.

"Real mature, Ames," Derek called to her before shaking his head and groaning with a smile of his own before getting off of his childhood bunk bed to follow, "You would be proud," he chuckled, pointing toward a picture of himself from years ago as he stood next to his dad.

 _Correction: twelve-year-old Derek would be dying._

* * *

 _ **Author's Note:**_

 **Hello! It's been a while, but I'm happy to have another chapter to share with you guys. Thank you to those of you who have reviewed and asked for an update, I really appreciate that you took the time to and that you have enjoyed this story. I know that it has been a ridiculous amount of time, everything has been going well for me, so well that it's left little time and motivation to continue these stories!**

 **There are many of you who have also followed along with my other stories so I wanted to leave a quick note explaining why they haven't been completed! I think I may have touched on this previously, but I tend to only work on these stories when I feel the drive to do so. If I don't feel that I want to dedicate hours to writing on them, I won't force myself to. This is why I have often gone very long stretches without updating.**

 **Again, _thank you so much_ for your interest in this story, and for some of you, my others as well. _I greatly appreciate your feedback and apologize_ if you have been bummed by my lack of activity on this site! **

**I hope you enjoyed the long-awaited _Thanksgiving Part 3 :)_**


	8. Big Decisions

Disclaimer: I do not own characters from Grey's Anatomy.

 **A/N: It's been a long wait, hasn't it? I hope those of you who have read the previous chapters since the beginning, enjoy this one. Anyone just finding this story, of course, I hope you enjoy it too! As I mentioned before, I very much go through writing spirts with life and inspiration, so I'll make no promises for the future. I simply hope you enjoy what I have for you now.**

 **Read.  
Hopefully, enjoy.  
Review if you'd like. **

* * *

"Why do you want to work at the hospital over your Christmas break?" Derek turned to look at her as they moved up further in line, "Go somewhere fun, take a vacation."

"The hospital is fun," Meredith argued defensively, "... and it will be a vacation because I'll be on break," she continued, rolling her eyes.

"Come on," he groaned in disbelief, "You have your whole life to work, enjoy the freedom while you can."

"You're being ridiculous," she told him pointedly, "Why do you want me out of town so badly anyway?" she laughed, "Are you hiding another crazy ex somewhere?" she said quietly, nudging him forward.

Derek scoffed a laugh, "You know what?" he asked her, waving his wallet in front of her face as they reached the front of the line, "I'm done trying to help you," he joked before turning toward the barista to order, "... and whatever she's having," he said a moment later, gesturing toward Meredith.

"She can pay for herself," Meredith urged him.

"Shut up and order your coffee," he glared playfully, nudging her shoulder.

Meredith rolled her eyes, "Fine but I'm not leaving town for break," she informed him, "I'll have a double mocha," she smiled at the man taking their order.

"Anything else, today?" he asked cheerfully.

"Two muffins, one Bran, one Double Chocolate," Derek threw in slyly, wiggling his eyebrows at Meredith.

"You need to stop buying me things, people are going to start thinking we're in a relationship," Meredith said, watching as the transaction was finished.

"We are," he responded seriously, shoving his wallet in his back pocket as they moved to their usual seat, "It's called a friendship," he chuckled, winking at her.

"In the words of your sister, friends don't suck face," she sighed, letting her backpack fall to the floor with a thud and unbuttoning her coat.

Derek raised his eyebrows at her, "Are you saying we're more than friends?" he questioned, sliding his briefcase into the chair next to him.

"No," she said shortly, "I'm saying we need to stop sucking face."

"But I like sucking your face," he whispered with a smirk, leaning further over the table as she took her seat.

"Not funny."

"I thought it was pretty funny," Derek shrugged with a smirk.

Meredith tilted her head in a sarcastic smile, "I know you did."

"Seriously," he began again, as they pulled their work from their respective bags, "Take a break during your break."

"Why?" she asked him incredulously, "What would I do? Bake with your mom? Take up knitting? Watch a million Hallmark movies about sucky holidays and sucky happy families. Hell, no."

"Sucky, happy families?"

"Yeah, you know where everything's perfect and everyone loves each other and everything goes wrong but they still sing a frickin' Christmas carol around the tree?"

"Ok, Scrooge," he chuckled, shaking his head a bit as he filtered through his paperwork, "You do know that for all intents and purposes, my family is that family and Amy's your best friend so mom has practically adopted you which means it's yours too, right?"

"Yeah but that doesn't erase the twenty-three years of shitty holidays before this," Meredith sighed and scrunched her nose, "What the hell does Scrooge mean anyway?"

"Meredith," Derek froze, paper and pen in hand, looking her in the eye, "You don't know who Scrooge is?"

"No, I don't know who Scrooge is," she said sharply, spreading out her flashcards, "I don't do holidays. Ever."

"Which is why you need to have some time off during your break," he argued, "Experience it, Mer!"

"Derek," a deep, loud voice sounded from the coffee bar as their muffins and drinks were placed on the counter.

"With who?" Meredith demanded, following Derek toward the counter, "You practically live at the hospital, Amy's going to see Kyle's family, and…"

"And nothing," Derek interjected, raising his eyebrows as he grabbed his coffee and muffin, "I don't **live** at the hospital," he scoffed, "I have a couple of days off. Make sure you have them off too. You're coming over so we can culturize you."

Meredith snorted a laugh and lead the way back to their seats, "Is culturize even a word?"

"Not the point, Mer."

"It doesn't matter what the point is," she urged him, peeling the paper away from her treat as he rolled his eyes at her over his drink, "I have culture! I am cultured!" she demanded, taking a poignant bite from her muffin.

A chuckle resounded from the other side of the table, "Oh, you're cultured, huh?" Derek challenged her, nodding slowly, "Have you seen _A Christmas Carol?"_

Meredith glared at him and shook her head as she chewed.

" _Elf_?" he continued, organizing the contents of his briefcase that had quickly become strewn across the table, " _Home Alone? National Lampoon's? Rudolph? Charlie Brown? The Grinch?"_

"Rudolph's the one with the shiny red nose, right?"

"Hey!" he cheered, smirking at her, "You got one right."

Meredith smiled back cockily, "See? Cultured."

"One out of seven, Mer," he reported seriously, "Ya flunked."

"How the hell can you rattle off that many Christmas movies, anyway?" she asked him defensively, "What'd you do, study for this?"

Derek shook his head and shrugged his shoulders a bit, "Nope… I'm just, ya know, cultured," he told her with a humorous glare.

"Shut up now," she insisted, flipping over a flashcard.

"I don't know why you're worried about people thinking we're a couple," he told her seriously, "We tell each other to shut up far too often," he finished with a laugh.

"Ha, ha," she mocked, "Look at you being funny again."

"See?" he emphasized, gesturing toward her with the remaining portion of his muffin in hand, "You're too mean to me."

* * *

Hours later, Derek made his way through the halls of the hospital and toward the residents' lounge. He'd drawn the short straw and found himself stuck with the night shift upon Dr. Richardson's request. A high profile, high-risk patient had been admitted early in the morning, one Richardson was quite fond of and desired only the best resident for. Derek still wasn't convinced his superior hadn't been laying the flattery on thick in order to run from the hospital for a night. He couldn't blame him.

"Good afternoon, Addie," he cheered rounding the corner into the lounge and spotting her on the bench, untying her shoes.

"You're awfully chipper for someone working third," she responded dryly, sitting up, stretching her back, and rolling her neck.

Derek's forehead wrinkled in concern as he shoved his things in the cubby with his name, "You're awfully… not chipper for someone leaving."

"I'm tired," she snapped, shoving her arms through her coat, "Ok? I'm allowed to be tired."

"Woah, Addie…" Derek withdrew, turning toward her, "what happened?"

Addison ignored him, shoving a few items in her bag before swinging it over her shoulder and shoving her feet into her street shoes.

"Addie," Derek said softly, crossing his arms and tilting his head, "I'm here for you… you can talk to me," he reminded her as she got up and made her way toward the door.

She reached for the doorknob, pulling the door open and leaving it for a second as she turned her head over her shoulder, "I can't, Derek," she told him earnestly, "... not about this".

"At least…" he began tentatively, "Talk to someone, whatever's going on, talk to someone".

"I will," Addie promised, looking him in the eye with a slight, sad smile, "I'm heading to Sam and Naomi's,".

Derek nodded, "Ok," he whispered, watching as she turned and left, the door swinging shut behind her. He pivoted back to face his cubby and rubbed the side of his face curiously.

"Is Addie in here?" Mark asked, bursting through the door.

"She just left," Derek informed him with a glance, "She seemed upset, what'd you do?"

"What makes you think her being upset had anything to do with me?" Mark retorted, shoving his hand in his pocket and pulling out his phone.

Derek huffed a laugh and rolled his eyes, "Oh, I don't know," he began sarcastically, "... maybe the sex and various failed attempts at wooing her".

"Hey," Mark barked, jutting a finger toward his friend as he placed his phone against his ear, "... you're the one who…"

"Don't blame your inability to flirt without innuendos on me," Derek scoffed, pulling on his lab coat and adjusting the collar.

"You try to woo Addison Montgomery," he argued, "... then you can mock me."

"Been there, done that," Derek smirked, fixing his pager to his waistband.

Mark raised his eyebrows, "You and Addie?"

"For about two seconds," Derek nodded, still smiling.

"Did you two ever…" he trailed off, pulling his phone from his face with a look of disappointment.

Derek chuckled and walked toward his friend, "Never," he assured him with a slap on the shoulder as he passed, "Good luck with… whatever that is," he said, gesturing toward Mark's phone before walking out the door.

"Thanks," Mark grunted, jabbing at his phone with his thumbs.

* * *

"You know, there are sets of notecards online that people have already slaved over for hours and hours that you can leech off of," Amelia informed her, strolling into Meredith's room and plopping onto her bed a huff.

"Which defeats half the purpose of making them," the blonde murmured, her elbow resting on her desk as she rested her chin on her fist.

Amelia rolled her eyes and let herself fall back onto her friend's bed, "Overachiever," she muttered.

"I'm not trying to be an overachiever, I'm just trying to achieve," Meredith told her friend with a hint of 'You should too' in her voice.

"Whatever, I need you to stop achieving for two seconds," Amelia sighed, rubbing her hands over her face, "I'm meeting Kyle's family."

Meredith sighed, dropping her pen and spinning her chair around, "You're freaking out," she said simply, leaning back in her chair and crossing her hands over her stomach.

"Yes, I'm freaking out!" the brunette snapped, shooting to a sitting position and crossing her legs, "I'm going to meet his **parents** , Meredith and I haven't even told my mother about him yet."

Meredith's eyes widened and she looked at her friend pointedly, "You haven't told her yet?"

"Don't look at me like that," Amelia groaned.

"You said you were going to tell her," Meredith argued, "Derek and I already know, what if we slip up or she asks a ton of questions?" she said, popping out of her chair and making her way out of the door, "I'm terrible at lying to her, she sees right through me."

"Then don't talk to her," Amelia argued, rolling her eyes as she climbed out of bed to follow her friend into the kitchen.

"Not happening," Meredith said, reaching to grab a new coffee mug from the cupboard.

Amelia snorted a laugh and settled onto a barstool, "Why not? She's not your mother, you have no reason to talk to her."

"You're right," Meredith said sharply, "she's not my mother, she's better," she told her friend, eyeing her as she swung the fridge open to grab creamer, "She listens and cares and she cooks us food. She's like a movie mom," she said, thinking back to her conversation with Derek earlier as she poured coffee into her mug.

Amelia fiddled with the sticky notes on the counter, "She knows what a fuck up I am, Meredith, she'll probably just think that Kyle's…"

"You don't know what she'll think," she told her friend as she turned around and leaned back against the counter, "You need to tell her and if you can't tell her about him you need to think about whether or not you should be with him."

"It has nothing to do with whether or not I think I should be with," she snapped, leaning back and crossing her arms, "It's about her, it's about how she sees me…"

"How do you think she'll see your relationship with Kyle after knowing that you hid your relationship for so long?" Meredith asked.

Amelia snorted and eyed her friend, "You have a lot to say considering your severe lack of ability to commit to anyone."

"Seriously?" Meredith asked sharply, biting the inside of her lip and setting her jaw.

"Oh don't look at me like that," Amelia said, "You and Derek have been dancing around each other for weeks."

"That's none of your business and it has nothing to do with what we're talking about," Meredith told her seriously.

"He's my brother, it is my business," Amelia countered.

"If you want to talk about your shit, fine," Meredith snapped, pushing away from the counter, "but we're obviously done with that and I have shit to do," she said, glaring toward her friend as she walked past.

"Oh come on," Amelia groaned, spinning in her chair as she walked past, "Just let yourself be happy with him, Meredith," she called to her as she shut her door.

The door shut behind her, Meredith released a long breath and slid down against it, cradling her mug in her hands. Amelia made it seem so easy to do the relationship thing, but she was afraid. She was just as afraid of having him as she was of losing him.

Her phone began to ring and as she pulled it from the pocket of her sweatshirt and saw the name and picture on the screen, she laughed a bit to herself and accepted the call, putting the phone to her face, "Hi," she sighed.

"Meredith, hey," Derek's voice echoed through, "I'm glad I caught you, I don't have long, but I wanted to see if Addie stopped to see you," he rattled off.

"No, umm, I haven't seen her," she responded, her brows knit in confusion, "Is something wrong?"

"I don't know," Derek sighed, "she seemed upset when she was getting ready to leave tonight and I think it has something to do with Mark."

"Hmm," Meredith huffed, "I wouldn't be surprised."

"He was odd about it too, I might just check with Nai, she and Addie are really close."

"Good idea then" Meredith muttered, closing her eyes and letting her head fall against the door, "How's work going?"

"It's not too bad right now but I'm not willing to jinx myself," he snorted a laugh, "Are you doing something with Amy tonight?"

Meredith rolled her eyes, "Amy and I need some space. We have a study session tonight but I doubt she'll go."

"Did you have a fight?" Derek asked.

"Kind of, not really, I don't know," Meredith sighed, "I just walked away. She still hasn't told your mom about Kyle and she's leaving to meet his parents this weekend and she's nervous so I told her to tell her before you or I do accidentally and she got all defensive and started giving me shit," Meredith breathed, taking a sip of her coffee.

Derek chuckled, "That was very rambly," he teased.

"Shut up," Meredith laughed.

"I agree, though, she needs to tell mom, it'll look worse the longer she keeps it from her," he sighed.

"That's what I said," Meredith exclaimed, "and I think she knows she has too, she's just afraid."

"Hmmm, well," Derek murmured, "the fear thing is a theme keeping you people from talking."

"You people? What is that supposed to mean?"

"You and Amy, you're both afraid, for different reasons about different things," he explained quietly, "Meredith I know that fear is the only thing stopping you from saying yes."

Meredith was quiet as she tapped her pen against her desk. He was right, she knew he was right but she didn't want him to be. She didn't want to be afraid. She didn't want to live a life out of fear… fear of how people would react.

"Meredith?" he asked, his voice equally as soft as before, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…"

"No," she said abruptly, "Don't be sorry, you can't be sorry for being right. I'm sorry, I'm sorry that I can't…" she shook her head with a groan and rubbed a hand across her forehead.

"Shit," Derek muttered on the other end, "I'm being paged, Mer, I have to go. We'll talk later though?"

Meredith nodded and cleared her throat, her voice perking up as she answered, "Yeah, yeah we'll talk later," she finished slowly.

Amelia's comments had left her head was spinning and as she and Derek ended their conversation, she sat in her chair, at her desk, in front of the mountain of flashcards she was picking through and she couldn't get it to stop.

* * *

It was late when Meredith trudged up to her friend's apartment. Her eyes stung with tiredness and she stifled a yawn, knocking on Addison's door.

"Hey," she said, trailing off as she caught a glimpse of the puffy-eyed, messy-haired friend in front of her dressed in sweats and a giant sweatshirt, "Addison," Meredith sighed as she walked through the door, shutting it behind herself.

"I don't know what to do," Addison croaked miserably, not making eye contact as she walked the short hallway to the living room.

"About what, Addie?" Meredith asked, dropping her bag as her forehead cinched in concern and she watched her friend curl into herself on her couch.

Addison looked up at her as she took a seat right by her side, "Men are so stupid," she muttered, wiping at her tears quickly.

"Addison," Meredith said softly, barely cracking a smile, "If you don't tell me, I can't help you."

"Just… don't judge me," the redhead spat out quickly, "The last thing I need right now is…"

"I won't, I promise."

"On your med school diploma?"

Meredith rolled her eyes, "On my med school diploma," she said with a snort.

"And you can't tell anyone," she added sharply, putting her finger in the young blonde's face, "Not Amelia, not Derek, not Mama Shepherd, not that weird friend that calls you Death, no one," she spelled out for her.

"God, Addie, what did you do? Kill someone?"

"Promise me," she hissed slowly.

"I promise," Meredith conceded, rolling her eyes as she tucked her legs under herself.

Addison swallowed thickly and muttered something Meredith couldn't make out.

"You're gonna have to actually say it."

"I'm pregnant," the older woman nearly yelled, "With Mark Sloan's baby. Yup," she nodded, anticipating Meredith's response with gritted teeth, "I'm pregnant with a man whore's baby. A man whore that I kind of want to do more than bang randomly."

"Ok," Meredith said slowly, locking her jaw to keep it from hanging, "Have you told him?"

Addison laughed dryly as tears popped from her eyes, "Yeah, that was a mistake. He wants to keep it, Meredith. Mr. ManWhore wants to be a daddy."

"And you don't?" the younger woman filled in slowly, arching an eyebrow, not knowing if she was right.

"No," Addison screeched with a sob, before glaring at her friend, "Don't look at me like that you said you wouldn't judge," she cried.

"I'm not judging," Meredith said quickly, "Just curious, I need to know so I can better understand the problem."

"The problem," Addison began furiously, "...is that this is the worst possible time for me to be having a baby. The worst. I'm a resident who lives in an apartment, works almost 80 hours a week, and falls for emotionally unavailable men who apparently secretly want to be fathers," she rambled, stopping and finally taking a breath.

"You're right, you have a lot on your plate," Meredith said supportively, resting a hand on Addison's knee, "and I doubt that Mark understands…"

"He doesn't get it, he doesn't get any of it," she snapped, "I'm the one who has to get fat and slow down and miss work and…"

"So do you want…" Meredith started quietly. _An abortion?_

Addison's eyes snapped to hers and her face crumpled even more as she nodded, "I think so, I think I want an abortion. Does that make me a terrible person?" she asked, her voice catching as she did.

Meredith shook her head, "It doesn't make you anything. It just means you're a person in a really hard position," she told her, grabbing for her hand and squeezing as she cried.

The woman nodded as a sob wracked her body and she gasped a breath, "Naiomi doesn't agree. She thinks I need to keep it. No matter what."

"She's not the one who has to make this decision. You are."

"Would you keep it?" Addison asked her suddenly, "If you found out you were pregnant with Derek's baby, would you keep it?"

"It's not about what I would do," Meredith told her, "This is about what you want to do."

"You couldn't just force your opinion on me like Nai?" Addison snorted, wiping at her face.

Meredith just smiled a bit and shook her head, reaching to hand the redhead a tissue, "It's not about our opinions."

* * *

Meredith slid her phone from her pocket as she walked away from Addison's door and scrolled to Derek's name in her messages. _You busy?_ she asked, sighing as she hit send. Less than a minute later, his face popped up on her screen and her phone rang, "Well that was fast," she smirked into the receiver.

She heard him chuckle, "It's dinner time," he said.

"At… 3:00 am?" she asked as she looked at her watch, making her way out of the building.

"Mealtime… whatever you want to call it for us night-shifters. What are you doing awake?"

She froze for a moment, knowing Addison would have her head if she spilled, "Umm… just walking out of Addison's," she informed him nonchalantly.

"You talked to her?" he asked, anticipation lacing his voice, "How is she? Did she tell you what's wrong?"

"She's ok," Meredith said slowly, wincing at her inability to find the right words, "or she will be, she's just going through a tough time and wanted some company."

"She told you not to tell me," Derek concluded.

"How do you know that?" Meredith quipped.

Derek snorted a laugh, "Meredith, you're a terrible liar."

"I am not," she defended adamantly as she made her way down the street, "I didn't tell you what she told me did I?"

"No," he laughed, "But…"

"But nothing, I'm a great secret keeper, I have nerves of still."

"Mmhmm," he hummed, clearly placating her.

"Oh shut up," she snapped.

"I didn't say anything," he said defensively. She could hear the amusement in his voice, "Addison's is close to the hospital. You should come eat with me."

"That was smooth,' Meredith huffed, rolling her eyes.

"I'm a very smooth man," he said seductively.

"What are you gonna feed me?" she demanded, ignoring his innuendo.

"Hospital food, Meredith, it's 3:00 am."

"Hmmm," she smirked, slowing to a stop in front of a neon sign, "I know of a place, somewhere only I know. I'll meet you by the gurney in fifteen."

"You know a place that's…" Derek began before she hung up on him and turned toward her hidden gem.

"Meredith!" the man behind the counter called as she walked in, "It's been a while."

"It has," she nodded, walking up to him. She felt her phone buzz in her hand and looked down, _How rude,_ the message read she smiled to herself.

"Good to see ya," he said with a wide smile, "The usual?"

Meredith nodded, "Make it two, please," she said, pulling out her wallet.

"Two?" the man asked, raising his eyebrows, "For you and a…"

"Friend," she finished for him with a laugh and handed over her card.

"Good, that means my sun still stands a chance," the man said with a wink as he called her order back and ran her card.

"You're a nice man and I'm sure your son is too, but it's not happening," she said, rolling her eyes.

The man just left and turned toward the kitchen to help with her order. It was out in no time and she called out a thank you as she walked out the door and made a beeline for the hospital.

"You know it's not very nice to hang up on people," Derek told her, sitting at the table in the Resident's lounge with his feet up on another chair.

"I brought food," she sang with a smirk, watching as he dropped his pen, shoved his work out of the way, and sat up.

"You're a god-sent," he said dramatically, "I can't take any more hospital food,' he groaned, taking in the aroma wafting from the bags she set on the table.

"Well this food will not disappoint," she promised, unpacking the foil tins the food was held in, "Not only are they one of the few 24-hour restaurants around, but they have, hands down the best Mexican food in a ten mile radius," she assured him as she took a seat to his left.

"Where exactly is this place?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Somewhere only I know," Meredith winked as she dug in.

Derek grunted and did the same, "Why don't we make it somewhere we both know?" he offered before swallowing his first bite.

"Because," Meredith said sternly, "I'm good at keeping secrets," she glared at him pointedly.

"This isn't a secret, it's a public place."

"I guarantee," Meredith said before taking a bite and swallowing, "No one in this hospital knows it exists."

"Then tell me," he said, wiggling his eyebrows with a smirk.

Meredith rolled her eyes and sighed, "It's called Rosie's Market, it's only a five-minute walk away and you can never tell anybody about it ever," she told him warningly.

"You'll show me where it is?" he asked, a large grin spreading across his face.

"Yes," she said with a grunt, semi-unhappy with herself for giving away such prized information, "I mean it Derek, don't…"

"Tell anyone, ever, I got it," he winked at her, "Now it can be somewhere only we know," he told her, bouncing his eyebrows again.

"Good," she said firmly, a smile falling onto her lips, "It better stay that way," she murmured, taking another bite.

"So you wanna tell me the Addison secret now too?" he asked quickly.

Meredith sent daggers toward his eyes, "Don't make me regret this."

Derek rolled his eyes and took a sip of his water, "How'd your study group go?"

"It was fine. I'm prepared," she told him confidently, "some other people definitely have work to do though and it showed."

"Was Amy one of them?"

"She didn't even show up."

"Does that have something to do with… you two needing space from each other," he said slowly.

"I never know with her," Meredith shook her head with a look of confusion on her face, "There's always so much going on. The Kyle stuff could be a reason."

"She's always been like that," he said with a swallow, "A lot going on but no one really knows much about it."

"What about you, how's your shift been?"

"Better now," he said with a wink before wiping his mouth, "Fine, I've been doing a lot of paperwork, it's been… good to have the time to catch up," he said carefully, talking around the word _quiet._

Meredith nodded in understanding and the two ate in silence for a couple of minutes. Her eyes gravitating back to him every few seconds before she piled her trash in the discarded bag and shoved it away from her. She could feel the busyness of the day and the late hour catching up with her as the food hit her stomach and she propped her head on her fist as she looked toward him.

"Did you decide what you're doing for fun during break?" he asked her with a knowing smirk as he wiped his face and discarded his trash too.

Meredith rolled her eyes, "Getting drunk, knitting with your mother, and avoiding mine," she said bluntly, watching his face.

Derek snorted a laugh as he capped his water bottle and mirrored her position, "Hmmmmm," he hummed in amusement as she yawned, "You should go home, get some sleep."

"I'm good," she said through a yawn and rubbed the corner of her eye.

"Ok," he nodded, clearly unconvinced as he brushed her hair out of her eyes, "I have about fifteen minutes left and then I'll have to leave you."

"Good," she murmured sleepily, her eyes wandering from his eyes to his lips, down his neck, and across the biceps bulging from his scrub top.

"Good?" he chuckled in amusement, rubbing a hand along her arm, "So you want me to leave you here to…"

"I don't want to be a yo-yo," she blurted out suddenly, her eyes widening as she realized what she said.

"What?" he asked with a laugh, his eyes glinting in confusion.

Meredith swallowed thickly and looked him in the eyes, "I don't want to be a yo-yo anymore," she said again, quietly.

"I'm gonna need more than that," he told her, "Why don't you want to be a toy?" he asked, humor still filling his eyes.

"I'm tired of going back and forth and questioning everything," she said quickly, "If my conversation with Addison showed me anything it's that you can't live in limbo, you have to make a decision and you can't just string someone along and expect them to be there and be on the same page and…"

"Ok, ok, slow down," Derek said carefully, "Meredith, what are you talking about?"

She groaned and ran her hands over her face, sitting up, "I want to try," she said finally, her voice wavering a bit, "I want to try to be more than friends and to go on dates and to…"

"What?" the question spilled out of his mouth as all expression fell from his face and he stared at her.

"... stop stopping the kissing," she continued, ignoring his interjection, "because I want to kiss you and I'm sitting here and I can't stop staring at your face and wanting to kiss it and I know that I said things but I want to…"

Derek pressed his lips against hers quickly, cutting off her rambling, leaning closer and bringing his hand to her waist, "You want to stop stopping?" he asked against her lips, jutting his eyes toward hers.

She nodded, gulping as she brought her hands to his shoulders, looked him in the eye for a moment, and pressed her lips against his again, rubbing her hands over his shoulders, up his neck and cheeks, before locking them into his hair.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, I appreciate it :)**


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